Hope. That is not a word that people often associate with Alzheimer’s. However, for the five million people in the United States with this illness, the over 10 million unpaid caregivers and the many millions more involved in ancillary care, there are bright spots.

For you and your loved one with Alzheimer’s, and even as the disease progresses, you can still have touching and meaningful connections that affirm dignity and self-respect.

People with advancing Alzheimer’s face difficulty in communicating in a conventional way. Nevertheless, my 16 years of experience as a licensed psychologist shows that they are wise, loving and insightful.

Here are 3 of the 33 tools based on my findings which are in my book, Connecting the Dots: Breakthroughs in Communication as Alzheimer’s Advances. You can use them to set the stage for your loved one to tell you what is on his mind and heart. It all starts with a smile.

The A, B, C’s of Connecting and Communicating:

• Attitude makes the difference. Treat your loved one as you would want to be treated: with kindness and respect. Those with Alzheimer’s have an uncanny sense of when someone is ‘talking down’ to them.
• Believe that it is possible. Focus on the richness that remains. Listen to whatever he does say, and imagine what is going on inside his mind and heart.
• Connect the dots of information of what he says and what you sense. Tell him what you think he means.

You will be surprised at the results. He’ll correct you if you’re wrong, or agree if you are right. Even though people with advancing Alzheimer’s can no longer communicate in their old way doesn’t mean that they have nothing to say.

Your loved one will never be exactly who he was, but you can experience him as he still is: a valuable human being who needs your help to relate and find his voice.

You do not have to accept someone as “gone,” when he is very much alive. When you reach out, you’ll establish a connection with your loved one, and he will connect back with you.

Judith London is the author of Connecting the Dots: Breakthroughs in Communication as Alzheimer's Advances.