Last week, we considered how clients may object to the word ‘mind’. They may also object to the term ‘thoughts’. Typically this happens when the client insists that their thoughts are true.

Therapist: "So what happens when you get all caught up in those thoughts about how lazy your husband is?"
Client: "They’re not thoughts. They’re facts. He really is lazy. He never lifts a finger around the house. He’s a slob."
Therapist: "Okay, so there’s a real issue here, isn’t there? Your husband does not do anything like the amount of housework you want."
Client: "He does nothing. He’s a lazy slob."
Therapist: "Okay. I can see this is a really important issue for you. This obviously really pushes your buttons. So we’ll go a bit deeper into it in just a moment, but first I think we need to reach an agreement on the words we use in session. A moment ago when I used the word ‘thoughts’ you objected; you said they’re not thoughts they’re facts."
Client: "That’s right. They’re facts. He’s a lazy slob. That’s a fact."
Therapist: "So here’s the thing – there are many different types of thoughts. Thoughts that state the truth we call 'facts'. But “facts” are only one type of thought. Do you know any other types of thought?"
Client: "Errmm. I’m not sure."
Therapist: ‘Well, here are a few other types of thought: plans, comparisons, judgments, criticisms, values, memories, predictions, opinions, attitudes, desires and so on. So 'facts' make up a very small percentage of the thoughts that we have each day. So I wonder, is it okay if we use the word 'thoughts' in these sessions, to mean all of your thoughts, not just the ones that are 'facts'? And if not, is there some other word – for example, if you prefer, we could use the technical term for thoughts – 'cognitions'?"

At this point most clients agree to the word ‘thoughts’; a tiny number prefer ‘cognitions’. From time to time, these clients may still object. For example:
Client: "Okay. We can call them thoughts."
Therapist: "So when you get caught up in all these thoughts about how lazy your husband is, what kind of things do you say and do?"
Client: "But they’re not thoughts. He really is a slob."
Therapist: "I can see you’re still having trouble with my use of the word 'thoughts'. The term doesn’t imply that these things are false or unreal or made up. As I said before, there are many types of thoughts, some of which are clearly true – usually called 'facts' – some of which are false, and most of which are neither true nor false, such as opinions and attitudes. If I can’t use the word 'thoughts' with you, we need to come up with an alternative. 'Cognitions' is the most common alternative; would you prefer that term?"
Client: "Yes."
Therapist: "Okay, so when you get all caught up in these cognitions about how lazy your partner is, what kind of things do you say and do?"

It’s very important to address this issue at the onset, otherwise you can easily get pulled into debates about whether thoughts are true or false. Remember, in ACT, we are rarely concerned about whether a thought is true or false. What we’re interested in is the function of the thought, rather than the validity: When I get hooked by this thought, what happens? If I hold this thought tightly, does it help me to behave the way I truly want to?