One of the simplest ways to create a context of defusion is to talk about ‘the mind’ in session as if it’s a separate entity. For example, we might say things like:

• "So what’s your mind doing now?"
• "Notice what your mind has to say about that"
• "So when your mind wants to get you all worked up about this, what kind of things does it say to you?"
• "If I could listen in to your mind when it’s beating you up, what kind of things would I hear it saying?"
• "So your mind says “There’s no hope. It’s a waste of time. This therapy won’t work”. Shall we stop the session just because that’s what your mind says – or shall we let your mind say that and carry on?"
• "And what happens if you let your mind bully you around, tell you what to do?"
• "What’s your mind saying to you right now?"

This way of talking about ‘the mind’ helps to create awareness of and detachment from thoughts, and we can even be more explicit. For example, we can use the metaphor (from Hayes et al, 1999) of "Four People in the Room":

Therapist: It’s often helpful to talk as if there’s four of us in the room; you and me, and your mind and my mind. Your mind’s going to tell you stuff, and my mind’s going to tell me stuff, and what’s most important in this room is how you and I work together, and not so much what our minds have to say.

While many clients respond well to this way of talking in session, from time to time someone objects. They may say, "It’s not 'my mind' – it’s me!’

One simple response is this:
Therapist: "Okay, so the part of you that walks and runs and dances – what do you call that?"
Client: "My legs"
Therapist: "And the part of you that writes and types and holds things – what do you call that?"
Client: "My hands"
Therapist: "And the part of you that talks and sings and eats – what do you call that?"
Client: "My mouth"
Therapist: "And the part of you that thinks – what do you call that?"
Client: (pause) ‘My mind"
Therapist: "So that’s what I’m talking about. When I use the word mind, I mean the part of you that thinks. (pause) So what’s your mind telling you right now?"

Some clients may still not go along with this convention. For example, in answer to the above question you may get this response:
Client: "It’s not my mind; it’s me."
Therapist: "Yes, it is a very important part of you. And clearly it’s not the whole of you. Your hands are a part of you, and your legs are a part of you, and your mouth is a part of you, and so on. And I think it’s very important that we have some word for this part of you that we can agree on – because obviously there’s a lot more to you than just your mind. So if we don’t use the word ‘mind’ to describe the part of you that thinks, what word can we use instead?"
Client: "It’s my brain"
Therapist: "Okay. I’m happy to go with that. So we’ll call it your brain. So what’s your brain telling you right now?"

As therapists and coaches we need to be flexible in our language, and adapt it to suit our clients. It feels a bit odd if I have to use the word ‘brain’ instead of the word ‘mind’, but if it helps facilitate defusion and prevent struggles with the client, I’m more than happy to do so.