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excerpt from Little Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On
It’s very hard to be tense, anxious, or worried when you are physically relaxed. As we noted in lesson 1, anxiety and worry always imply the presence of a perceived threat. Because you believe danger is present, your body prepares to fight or flee. Your heart rate accelerates, your attention sharpens, the blood flow increases to your arms and legs, your muscles tense, and you’re ready for action. But staying wired like this for long periods can be hard on both the body and the spirit. Moreover, high levels of tension don’t promote clear thinking or effective problem solving. It’s time to relax.
Going for a run, a walk, or laps in the pool can also work well. A hot bath or a massage can help, or even a bit of dancing. If nothing else, just stand up in the middle of the room and shake out your tension. Any physical activity that releases physical tension from your body will help. One of the most effective relaxation methods is simply learning how to breathe. Yes, something as simple as breathing from your abdomen rather than using shallow chest breathing offers a host of benefits to your mind and body. You can do this anywhere: in your car, in a meeting, or even in line at the grocery checkout. It doesn’t take planning, time, or a change in your schedule. Try this:
excerpt from Grieving Mindfully
It is extremely important to remember that the lessons of grief are at their most potent not when they are being learned, but when they are being integrated into your life. It is one thing to read about these ideas, but it is quite another thing to put these ideas into practice. Grief has the power to radically change your life, to encourage a more meaningful, richer life, but only when its lessons are manifested in the way you live your life every day. This means becoming a more active and more mindful participant in your life.
One of the hardest steps in this process can be putting the lessons of grief into practice. Many people I have worked with have a passive appreciation of the concept of mindfulness and the positive transformation of suffering long before they integrate these ideas into their everyday life. By exploring specific areas of their lives, they help this passive appreciation to develop into a more active, dynamic process. It becomes an invigorating, life-affirming task, even though there are still many emotional ups and downs along the way.
excerpt from The End-of-Life Handbook
When informed of a loved one’s serious illness, you may wish to find out more information from the doctor. Unfortunately, doctors don’t always communicate with patients and families as effectively as possible (and vice versa). This can occur for lots of reasons. Sometimes the fault lies with doctors: They may use overly technical jargon or fail to spend sufficient time answering questions. On the other hand, sometimes patients and family members can’t think of the right questions to ask, or they may feel so intimidated by the whole process that they remain quiet. If you’ve experienced any of these situations, you know how frustrating they can be. Nonetheless, it’s usually worth making another effort to communicate effectively with your loved one’s physician. In the next chapter, we’ll offer detailed advice about how to maximize your time with the doctor. For now, we’d like to offer some pointers to help you through the first few conversations:
Excerpt from Walking After Midnight
I love being in the center of the busy energy in our home. However, I hold my breath every time the phone rings. I know at any moment the police could call to say there has been some activity on the criminal investigation, and our lives will be thrown into a tailspin.
I agonize over how the waiting must be affecting families on the other side of the tragedy. Surely parents have seen loved teenagers change over the last two years as they have tried to push the events of New Year’s Eve 1997 far, far down into the realm of forgotten memory. I imagine those parents watching in isolation, fearing something horrible has happened to pull the light from their children’s eyes, but having no idea what it was.
Excerpt from Grief’s Courageous Journey
Grief is a highly personal response to life losses. Every relationship we have with a person is unique, irreplaceable, and unrepeatable. Since our relationships are unique, our grief is unique, too.
There are no road maps, no blueprints for grief.
It is always a mistake to judge how another person is expressing grief.
Instead of judging, we must be very patient and accept the uniqueness of ever individual’s grief process, including our own.
excerpt from The Holistic Baby Guide
Treating your baby’s fever and acute symptoms at home is easy enough. The goal of treatment is to encourage healing and stimu¬late a strong immune response. Reducing the fever is not the goal, as the fever will do what is necessary to fight the illness. Natural remedies will encourage the fight.
The first and easiest remedy to try is homeopathic Belladonna. The classical indications for Belladonna are fever with sudden onset, radiating heat, and flushing and redness of the skin. There may be redness (indicating inflammation) at some specific location in the body: in the throat, the ears, the eyes, the skin—pretty much anywhere. Older children will complain of a headache. Babies who need Belladonna are often quiet and subdued, moaning and very hot to touch. Or they may be crying with discomfort. Belladonna is indicated before significant discharge develops with a cold or other symptoms appear later in an illness that would point the way to another remedy.
If babies are very uncomfortable and screaming in apparent pain, then you may want to try giving homeopathic Chamomilla. Often one dose will calm your baby and allow her to get back to sleep.
excerpt from The Joy of Parenting
Take a moment to think about the relationships in your life that are most important to you – those in which you feel closest to someone else. What is it about those relationships that you most value? Take a few moments and jot down your thoughts about this in your parenting journal.
If you’re like many parents, one of the valued characteristics you listed may have been “feeling heard.” When we’re very lucky, we find ourselves in relationships in which people “get” us – they have a solid understanding of our wants, desires, and dreams. They communicate that understanding in how they behave around us – by calling our attention to things we care about or being thoughtful without being asked and without expecting anything in return. Because these things are important to you, you won’t be surprised that these same attributes are probably what your child most values and trusts about her relationship with you.
Taking time to nurture a relationship like this with your child is important. After all, you’re the “base” from which your child ventures out into the world. You ensure his safety and offer a lens through which he will views other important relationships throughout his life. You show your young child how to be in the world by the way you relate to and behave with him. And that is an enormous responsibility – as well as an exquisite gift.
Excerpt from The Balanced Mom
Do what you can to prevent these signs of burnout. Ask yourself, “How full is my tank?” Picture a scale from 1 to 10 on which 1 is feeling consumed by signs of burnout and 10 is feeling joyful, balanced, and peaceful. Your goal is to stay between a 7 and a 10. Where are you today? Check in with yourself on a regular basis and incorporate the necessary changes to keep your tank filled.
Here are some ways to do it:
New Harbinger Publications
Susan Albers, Ph.D.
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
E lisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D.
Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D.
Susan Kuchinskas
Karen Leland
Pavel Somov, Ph.D.
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. "Emotional Fitness"
Bill Knaus, Ed.D. "Science and Sensibility"
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D. "Mindful Motherhood"
Jefferson Singer, Ph.D. "Life Scripts"
John P. Forsyth, Ph.D. "Peace of Mind"
Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D. "Urban Mindfulness"
Karen Leland "The Perfect Blend"
Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. "The Science of Willpower"
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. "Compassion Matters"
Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D. "The White Knight Syndrome"
Mary Lamia, Ph.D. "The White Knight Syndrome"
Randi Kreger "Stop Walking on Eggshells"
Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC "Teen Angst"
Rick Hanson, Ph.D. "Your Wise Brain"
Robert Firestone, Ph.D. "The Human Experience"
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. "The Wise Mind Open Mind"
Russ Federman, Ph.D., ABPP "Bipolar You"
Russ Harris, MD "The Happiness Trap"
Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. "Here, There, and Everywhere"
Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D. "Get Out of Your Mind"
Susan Albers, Psy.D. "Comfort Cravings"
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW "Contemplating Divorce"
Troy DuFrene "Fumbling for Change"
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. "Mindfulness & Psychotherapy"
Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP "Healing Together for Couples"
Pavel Somov, Ph.D. "360º of Mindful Living"
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