The Power of Validation is published! While written as a parenting book focused on young children, the book teaches the steps of validation and can be used by anyone who wants to improve their relationships, by families of those with borderline personality disorder, and by anyone who wants to learn to validate him or herself.

Read the piece here.

by guest blogger Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Just One Thing

Think of times you've been truly wronged, in small ways or big ones. Maybe someone stole something, turned others against you, broke an agreement, cheated on you or spoke unfairly or abusively.

When things like these happen, I feel mad, hurt, startled, wounded, sad. Naturally it arises to want to strike back and punish, get others to agree with me, and make a case against the other person in my own mind.

These feelings and impulses are normal. But what happens if you get caught up in reactions and go overboard? (Which is different from keeping your cool, seeing the big picture and acting wisely -- which we'll explore below.) There's usually a release and satisfaction, and thinking you're justified. It feels good.

>For a little while.

by guest blogger Margaret Floyd, author of Eat Naked

If you’re committed to healthy living, this time of year can be quite a predicament. The holiday parties, the big over-stuffing dinners, the endless temptations of sweet treats and general excess. How to navigate through this minefield of dietary “don’t” without being a total killjoy?

Well, my approach to this situation might surprise you a little. I’m not going to give you a list of ways to make sure you don’t overeat at Thanksgiving dinner (that’s part of the experience, for goodness sakes!) or a list of foods to say “yes” or “no” to at the holiday party buffet table. I don’t believe in this approach for three reasons:

by guest blogger Shawn T. Smith Psy.D. , author of The User's Guide to the Human Mind

In my experience as a psychologist, I've noticed that our biggest obstacles are often the thoughts and feelings inside our own heads. I'm not referring to the figurative old trope about self-confidence. What I mean is that we treat thoughts and feelings almost as if they were physical objects. They can seem to coalesce into a wall that stands between us and happiness.

I meet people every day who feel they must eliminate sadness before they can do things that bring joy, or eradicate anger before they can behave graciously, or even that they should prevent optimism in order to avoid disappointment.

It's natural to think that way because that's how we handle obstructions in the real world. We clear trees before building a house, and fix flat tires before driving. But that strategy fails when we apply it to thoughts and feelings. They are not objects that we can manipulate. Even if we could throw them away, the mind would just give us more.

It’s hard to look forward to our favorite foods when we’re taught to feel fearful, guilty and ashamed for eating — and actually enjoying it.

I think the key to enjoying food – without feeling guilty – is to shift our perspective: from seeing food as enemy #1, 2 and 3, as a sin and something not “worth the calories” (how many times have you said that?) to viewing it with awe, appreciation and curiosity.

Mindfulness gives us the opportunity to do all three.

In True Belonging: Mindful Practices to Help You Overcome Loneliness, Connect with Others & Cultivate Happiness, Jeffrey Brantley, M.D, and Wendy Millstine, NC, also offer great ideas on eating mindfully. First, before you even begin your meal, they suggest taking a few slow breaths.

They also note the importance of thinking about the origins of our food, and how incredibly connected we are to so many people through our meal.

They write:

Read the rest of "The Best Way To Enjoy Your Food This Holiday Season" on Psych Central

by guest blogger Margaret Floyd, author of Eat Naked

One of the first questions I’m asked when someone finds out I’m in the nutrition field is “So, you’re a vegetarian?” It’s a loaded question, whether they realize it or not. Here's a little bit of information:

• The prevailing belief when it comes to our food and health is that the fewer animal products we eat, the better.
• I was a vegetarian of some shade or another for the better part of 12 years.
• During my years as a vegetarian, I had loads of digestive issues and was constantly hungry.
• What a horrible choice: feel good in your body but guilty about the impacts of your choices; or feel good ethically and miserable physically.
• There’s no one diet that works for everyone.
• With a little more investigation, I learned that there was indeed a way to eat meat and feel good about it on an environmental and ethical level.
• These farmers are using traditional farming techniques that not only preserve but enhance their environments
• The great news is that when I’m eating this way, I feel fabulous.
• Here are three ways your body could be telling you it needs animal protein:

Quick Tip for Therapists by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, PhD, NCC, LMHC, author of 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD, 2nd ed.

A therapist can determine if a client's relationship is healthy by looking at the levels of control within a relationship. A healthy relationship is one that is interdependent: the partners are emotionally intimate and rely on each other, but also have their own interests and abilities. One partner does not try to control the other.

by guest blogger Susan Albers, PsyD, author of But I Deserve This Chocolate

It's about time that we quit using the phrase "freshman fifteen." What's the harm? The term causes freshman a lot of anxiety. Also, talking about it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Students may unconsciously (or consciously) eat more because they believe this is "normal." Worry about gaining weight can also trigger disordered eating habits such as restrictive dieting and binge eating.

Let's stop focusing on weight and start talking about eating healthy and more mindfully! The way students eat now can impact their health in years to come.

I don’t live in a big city. (In fact, the only noises I typically hear are birds chirping or cats in heat. Don’t ask.) But I’ve lived in NYC and have been visiting my family there several times a year for over a decade. So I have a fairly good grasp of what it’s like to be surrounded by a cacophony of car horns and ambulance sirens, a flurry of feet pounding the pavement, and hours (many hours) of traffic. Though it has many perks, city life is rarely peaceful or serene.

That’s why I really like the book Urban Mindfulness: Cultivating Peace, Presence & Purpose in the Middle of It All by Jonathan S. Kaplan, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and founder of UrbanMindfulness.org. In it, he addresses specific problems that plague city dwellers and gives readers a variety of strategies to feel more calm and fulfilled. (He lives in NYC, so I think he knows what he’s talking about.)

Read the rest of "4 Tips on Cultivating Mindfulness When You Live in a Busy, Bustling City" on Psych Central

Here is our latest editor's pick! Acquisitions Editor Jess O'Brien shares why he enjoyed A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook:

When we spend most of our time "doing" we don't get much time to just "be" and experience life in the moment. The MBSR program gives us a way to let go of some of that built up wear and tear. By learning how to apply mindfulness to your life, you will find that there are moments of joy and contentment to be found in the quiet spaces between the activities that you do each day. By taking these precious seconds to relax and be present to things as they are, your mind and nerves get a much needed break, taking off the pressure long enough to recharge for your next accomplishment.