Calming Your Anxious Mind

Anxiety, fear, and panic are indeed upsetting. A central theme in this book is that most people have not been properly educated about the nature of these feelings (they are not you and not permanent), and certainly have not been properly trained to handle them in a skillful, meditative way (using affectionate, non-judging attention to alter the old mind-body habits of struggle and reactivity). The result is that there is a tendency to identify with anxiety, fear, or panic, and to become lost in the aversion to them as it arises, fills your awareness, and drives your consciousness moment by moment.

It can be helpful to remember that your inner life—distressing or not—is worthy of attention, and so are you! In fact, your best hope for changing the distress you feel is by trusting that turning toward the experience is the way home. The processes of anxiety, fear, and panic may generate doubts and discouraging thoughts that distract you from actually turning attention toward the unfolding experience, but don’t let yourself be fooled! There is a different way to relate to the pain of anxiety, fear, or panic besides taking them as an identity, or making war on them.

Excerpt from Calming Your Anxious Mind

Worry is another way thoughts and feelings can affect health. We have seen how worry can be understood as the patterns of thinking driven by feelings of anxiety. Often, the content of the thoughts reflects a person’s attempt to cope with or eliminate the discomfort and ill ease present as part of their experience of anxiety.

• About two-thirds of Americans classify themselves as worriers.
• About half of that group classify themselves as moderate worriers who worry between 10 and 50 percent of the day.
• The rest of the worriers report that they worry more than eight hours a day.
• Worry has been related to health problems. These include cardiac arrhythmias in patients who have had heart attacks, increased blood pressure in laboratory animals, and asthma in both adults and children.
• Uncertainty as an aspect of worry is particularly potent and toxic. When people are confronted by situations of high uncertainty, when they do not know what will happen next or how they should act, they can experience destructive feelings of helplessness and frustration. Uncertainty keeps people in a constant state of semi-arousal, unable to relax, and the price of this ongoing tension and stress is high.

excerpt from Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

All of us divided ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. On one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard, and we have traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable with in ourselves. We have natural tendencies to grow and develop and to pursue our personal and vocational goals, as well as desires to be close in our relationships and to search for meaning in life. In this book, these tendencies are referred to as the real you or your real self, because they are made up of friendly, compassionate view of yourself.

by guest blogger Carol Krucoff, E-RYT, author of Healing Yoga for Neck and Shoulder Pain

One of the most frequent comments I hear from people who learn that I teach yoga is, “Oh, I’d love to try yoga, but I’m not flexible enough.”

To which I typically reply, “That’s like thinking your house is too messy to hire a maid.”

The idea that you must twist yourself into a pretzel to do yoga is one of many common misconceptions about this powerful form of self-care and transformation. In fact, the only prerequisite for practicing yoga is the ability to breathe! I tell people who think they’re too old, too inflexible or too unfit to try yoga that if you can breathe, you can benefit from this healing practice.

I’ve taught yoga to people of all ages and abilities—including those dealing with cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, blindness, fibromyalgia, back pain and leg amputation. Advanced postures like headstand are part of the yoga practice for some people, but they are by no means required. Your yoga practice should be tailored to fit your own needs and abilities.

Here are a few more myths about yoga that I’d like to dispel:

by guest blogger Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., author of 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD, Making the Grade with ADD, and ADD and Your Money

Recently a study published in the journal Pediatrics found a possible correlation between pesticides and ADHD. Out of the 1,139 children in the study (ADHD and non-ADHD), 94 percent were found to have some levels of organophosphate (pesticide) compound in their urine. Out of the children with an above-average level of the compound, 20 percent had ADHD. The rate of ADHD was 10 percent in children who had no level of the compound. This study has caused some concern among parents and others in the ADHD community. However, before we all start buying 100% organic everything, we need to take a closer look at the study.

excerpt from Little Ways to Keep Calm and Carry On

It’s very hard to be tense, anxious, or worried when you are physically relaxed. As we noted in lesson 1, anxiety and worry always imply the presence of a perceived threat. Because you believe danger is present, your body prepares to fight or flee. Your heart rate accelerates, your attention sharpens, the blood flow increases to your arms and legs, your muscles tense, and you’re ready for action. But staying wired like this for long periods can be hard on both the body and the spirit. Moreover, high levels of tension don’t promote clear thinking or effective problem solving. It’s time to relax.

Going for a run, a walk, or laps in the pool can also work well. A hot bath or a massage can help, or even a bit of dancing. If nothing else, just stand up in the middle of the room and shake out your tension. Any physical activity that releases physical tension from your body will help. One of the most effective relaxation methods is simply learning how to breathe. Yes, something as simple as breathing from your abdomen rather than using shallow chest breathing offers a host of benefits to your mind and body. You can do this anywhere: in your car, in a meeting, or even in line at the grocery checkout. It doesn’t take planning, time, or a change in your schedule. Try this:

excerpt from Grieving Mindfully

It is extremely important to remember that the lessons of grief are at their most potent not when they are being learned, but when they are being integrated into your life. It is one thing to read about these ideas, but it is quite another thing to put these ideas into practice. Grief has the power to radically change your life, to encourage a more meaningful, richer life, but only when its lessons are manifested in the way you live your life every day. This means becoming a more active and more mindful participant in your life.

One of the hardest steps in this process can be putting the lessons of grief into practice. Many people I have worked with have a passive appreciation of the concept of mindfulness and the positive transformation of suffering long before they integrate these ideas into their everyday life. By exploring specific areas of their lives, they help this passive appreciation to develop into a more active, dynamic process. It becomes an invigorating, life-affirming task, even though there are still many emotional ups and downs along the way.

excerpt from The End-of-Life Handbook

When informed of a loved one’s serious illness, you may wish to find out more information from the doctor. Unfortunately, doctors don’t always communicate with patients and families as effectively as possible (and vice versa). This can occur for lots of reasons. Sometimes the fault lies with doctors: They may use overly technical jargon or fail to spend sufficient time answering questions. On the other hand, sometimes patients and family members can’t think of the right questions to ask, or they may feel so intimidated by the whole process that they remain quiet. If you’ve experienced any of these situations, you know how frustrating they can be. Nonetheless, it’s usually worth making another effort to communicate effectively with your loved one’s physician. In the next chapter, we’ll offer detailed advice about how to maximize your time with the doctor. For now, we’d like to offer some pointers to help you through the first few conversations:

Excerpt from Walking After Midnight

I love being in the center of the busy energy in our home. However, I hold my breath every time the phone rings. I know at any moment the police could call to say there has been some activity on the criminal investigation, and our lives will be thrown into a tailspin.

I agonize over how the waiting must be affecting families on the other side of the tragedy. Surely parents have seen loved teenagers change over the last two years as they have tried to push the events of New Year’s Eve 1997 far, far down into the realm of forgotten memory. I imagine those parents watching in isolation, fearing something horrible has happened to pull the light from their children’s eyes, but having no idea what it was.

Excerpt from Grief’s Courageous Journey

Grief is a highly personal response to life losses. Every relationship we have with a person is unique, irreplaceable, and unrepeatable. Since our relationships are unique, our grief is unique, too.

There are no road maps, no blueprints for grief.

It is always a mistake to judge how another person is expressing grief.

Instead of judging, we must be very patient and accept the uniqueness of ever individual’s grief process, including our own.