by guest blogger Laura J. Knoff, NC, author of The Whole-Food Guide to Overcoming Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Many people are discovering that they are sensitive to wheat, dairy and sugar. Is this a new phenomenon or just a key to the mystery of mood disorders in some people? In 1980, Dr William Philpott outlined the connection of food allergies and food addictions to many psychological conditions from autism to schizophrenia in his book Brain Allergies. The connection of food to mood is often not investigated, but just as the psyche can affect the body, the body has an affect on the psyche. In Psychology Today, October 30, 2009, depression is just one symptom of celiac disease, (an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that is triggered by eating gluten containing foods). Celiac is not diagnosed nearly as often as it occurs and is frequently misdiagnosed as IBS or as many other conditions. Anyone with a family history of diabetes, heart disease, allergies, ADHD, autism, digestive conditions or celiac disease may find that by completely avoiding foods containing gluten, casein, and sugar they feel much better.

excerpt from Messages

There are eight major hidden agendas. As you read about them in the descriptions that follow, notice which ones may apply to you.

“I’m Good”

You are the hero of all your stories. Each anecdote highlights the attributes you value most. If you want people to know about your wealth or power, your stories tell them. If you want the word out about your strength or generosity, your stories do that for you. A frequently encoun¬tered “I’m good” agenda is the caring and sensitive person. This role is played as if you were on the stage—you create an undeniably fine character, but not your authentic self. You have to prove your caring constantly by a gesture, a recollection, a sensitive remark.

Here are some typical “I’m good” messages:

• “I’m honest.” “I’m successful.”
• “I’m hardworking.” “I’m powerful.”
• “I’m courageous.” “I’m strong.”
• I’m loyal.” “I’m wealthy.”
• “I’m generous.” “I’m self-sacrificing.”
• “I’m ambitious.” “I’m adventurous.”

Everyone is a little phony, but the “I’m good” agenda is more than that. It’s a life’s work. It’s a way of distorting yourself so that only very selected parts get seen. It means you don’t trust anyone with the parts of yourself that are less than wonderful.

There are two big disadvantages to the “I’m good” agenda. It’s hard to get close to people because they only know you through your “I’m good” stories. And people get bored. They get tired of seeing the same mask, hearing the same theme over and over. They listen for a while, then go away.

by guest blogger Lisa Frankfort, LMFT, co-author of How to Stop Backing Down and Start Talking Back

“You know what I mean?” How often is this said in ordinary conversation? Sometimes to check in with the listener before continuing on, but sometimes it’s framed as a statement that indicates assumed understanding.

Do we, as therapists understand what our clients mean by certain words, terms or cultural jargon? Do we ask for clarification or admit a lack of understanding? Often, we don’t. Why is this? We want to be seen as empathic, as wise, as “getting” our clients’ world. We want to foster a feeling of closeness and connection. Even if they have been misunderstood by the world, we can offer something else. “You know what I mean?” “Yeah.”

excerpt from Messages

Not every relationship or situation requires whole messages. Effective communication with your garage mechanic probably won’t involve a lot of deep feeling or discussion of your emotional needs. Even with intimates, the majority of messages are just informational. But partial messages, with something important left out or obscured, are always dangerous. They become relational booby traps when used to express the complex issues that are an inevitable part of closeness.

You can test whether you are giving whole or partial messages by asking yourself the following questions:

Suzanne Phillips, Ph.D., co-author of Healing Together, wrote a piece on her Psych Central "Healing Together for Couples" blog that has really gained speed:

Can Pets Improve Your Relationship?

Tara Parker-Poker, blogger for The New York Times, wrote about it. Jezebel.com referred to the NYT.com piece.

Dr. Phillips was featured on "Good Day New York" to discuss the issue:

excerpt from Children of the Self-Absorbed

Creativity, as used here, includes the following:

• Developing new ways to do things and solve problems
• Perceiving things from a new perspective
• Bringing a fresh, new, or novel approach to something that already exists
• Engaging in creating something that brings you pleasure
• Learning something you did not know and making constructive use of the knowledge
• Streamlining, correcting, reducing, or eliminating barriers, constraints, and roadblocks
• Trying something different

excerpt from Children of the Self-Absorbed

Your self-absorbed parent may still expect you to be at his beck and call, even though you are an adult and have a life and responsibilities separate from him. He may make unreasonable demands on you to do things he can do for himself, to be responsible for his physical and emotional welfare, to always do what he wants you to do or to be what he wants you to be, to act on his desires and wishes, and to accept his authority without dissent. He seems to think that your responsibilities, such as a job or family time, should be secondary to whatever he thinks or wants. You may try to meet as many of his expectations and demands as you possibly can, but you can never give him enough, and trying to meet his demands may even be detrimental to other parts of your life. Both unreasonable demands and intrusive questions show a lack of understanding and respect for your boundaries. Further, both put you in a position where you run the risk of off ending if you do not immediately comply and do what is wanted or supply the desired answers. Intrusive questions are those that ask for intimate, personal, and sensitive information about yourself or others that you may not want to share. When faced with questions like these, you may need time to understand your own needs, desires, and wishes, and when engaged in an interaction, you cannot take the time you need. You are too busy interacting and reacting.

by guest blogger Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book and The Gift of Adult ADD, and Listening to Depression

The quickest way to transform your child’s problem into strengths is to ask yourself repeatedly “What is right with my child?” This will force you to find your child’s gifts. One parent whose child didn’t do as well as other children in school, was able to tell herself that her child was creative and artistic and she could foster those qualities. When she was tempted to sink into despair when she compared her own son with other kids who seemed to easily do well in school she asked herself “What’s right with my child?” It will be normal to compare your child to others. There is no way to avoid doing so in our competitive culture. I think that there is no freedom from worry when you are a parent, but you can find freedom IN your worry. That means that you recognize that worry is the work of being a parent and you channel it into productive action and stay positive.

Excerpt from Treating Depressed Children

A person’s belief system is comprised of both rational and irrational beliefs. Children and adolescents, like adults, have a particular belief system. Rational beliefs are those that usually tend to be consistent with objective reality and lead to self-enhancing emotions and goal-directed behaviors. Irrational beliefs are generally distortions of reality, are expressed automatically, and lead to negative feelings that often block goal attainment. Irrational beliefs may also remain dormant or inactive and only be activated in specific situations or stressful events.