by guest blogger Susan Eikov Green, author of Don't Pick On Me.

All children experience some form of bullying. They may the target of a bully or they may be a bystander who witnesses bullying. We usually think of bullying as a physical act – pushing, shoving, fighting, hitting. But bullying can also be verbal – threatening, taunting, teasing, name-calling - as well as emotional. Being ostracized or being the subject of a rumor and gossip can be just as damaging as a push or a shove.

Of course some playful teasing is normal and children need to learn how to "give-and-take" in relationships. But bullying goes beyond that. Many children feel helpless and don’t know what to do when they are picked on. Their first reaction may be to either cry or get angry and go on the attack. They don’t realize that crying or fighting only gives the bully the satisfaction of knowing that whatever he’s done has worked! It won’t stop the bully – it will just make it worse.

But there are some simple strategies kids can learn to help them deal with bullies – strategies that will build their confidence and self-esteem so they can develop healthy relationships and friendships.

Discuss these strategies with your child.

Recently, on an ACT listserve for therapists, someone asked for advice on dealing with elite professional athletes who insist "that their particular gift (sport) is a value. They do not agree that it is a goal in the service of values."

My suggestion was simply to provide some examples for clarity. For example, possible Sport-related GOALS: win the game/ win the race/ win the tournament/ break the record/ win the gold medal/ achieve my personal best/ do better than last time/ make the grade/ get selected for the team.

These can all be achieved, completed, ticked off the list – therefore they are goals.

Excerpt from Choosing to Live

So, how shall we view suicide? Here’s what we recommend:

1. Get rid of the stigma
2. Adopt a problem-solving point of view.
3. Keep an open mind.

Excerpt from Choosing to Live

You may ask, "Well, shouldn’t suicide and suicidal behavior be stigmatized? Isn’t it sinful, after all? Besides, we surely want to do everything we can to discourage self-destructive behavior."

We want to do all we can to prevent suicide and suicidal behaviors, but it is unlikely that laying guilt trips on depressed people will be helpful. Aren’t depressed people already some of the guiltiest-feeling people around? If guilt were an effective strategy, we would expect depressed people rarely, if ever, to commit suicide. Most depressed people already feel bad about themselves. A threat of moral condemnation is unlikely to have any positive impact on someone who already believes he or she is bad.

Excerpt from Intimacy After Infidelity

Self-Intimacy is the moment-to-moment awareness of one’s feelings, thoughts, and needs as well as the willingness to acknowledge and own these to oneself and with one’s partner.

Why Self-Intimacy Is So Important

• The Decision to be unfaithful is born here.
• SI represents the best way to take care of yourself, especially with regard to expressing negative feelings.
• SI is directly connected to your instincts.

Excerpt from Love Tune-Ups

Leaving little notes for your partner can add a wonderful zip to both their day and yours. You get to feel sneaky and loving at the same time, and they get a caring surprise. A love note is a simple, delightful way to bring you instantly closer, no matter where you are.