by guest blogger Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC, author of The Anger Workbook for Teens

Are high school relationships a thing of the past? According to the research it would seem so. Today's teens now prefer "hooking up", "no strings attached" and even "friends with benefits" relationships to a "Steady Relationship." In fact, the modern day Cinderella story may go something like this:

excerpt from Stopping the Pain by Lawrence E. Shapiro Ph.D.

Most people who self-injure keep their behavior secret. They might feel that they are the only ones in the world who act this way. Even people who are seeing counselors may be ashamed to admit that they hurt themselves.

In the last few years, more people have talking about self-injury, and it has become less secret. Many books have been written about self-injury. There are also many websites and blogs, although it is important for you to be aware that not everything you read on the Internet is in your best interest.

The more people talk about self-injury, the more we can understand how to help people with this problem. Separating myths from facts is always a step in the right direction.

excerpt from The Stress Reduction Workbook for Teens by Gina M. Biegel MA, LMFT

There are two types of mindfulness practice: formal and informal. In formal practice, you actually set aside an amount of time and dedicate it to being mindful. Informal practice doesn’t require any extra time; the idea is to bring moment-to-moment awareness to everything you already do, to zero in on what you are doing as you are actually doing it.

People often do things without being fully present, as if they were on automatic pilot. Living this way, they cheat themselves out of many moments in their lives. Trying to bring conscious awareness to your body and mind while remaining aware of the task you are engaging in will allow you to experience life more fully. Paying attention to your five senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell) in your daily tasks can help you be aware in the present moment.

excerpt from Free from OCD by Timothy A. Sisemore Ph.D.

Jamaal doesn’t really appreciate his new nickname, Mr. Perfect. Though he has really tried not to, he still has to keep every paper straight in his organizer and catches himself straightening up his friends’ papers. He used to feel good about himself and thought he was pretty popular and cool. But now that his stuck thoughts and rituals have gotten worse, he doesn’t go out with friends much because he just doesn’t want to hear the teasing. He has to go to school but wouldn’t if he didn’t have to. Though his friends say they’re just teasing, Jamaal doesn’t find it very funny. Having OCD is a pain.

for you to know

As if it isn’t bad enough to wrestle with stuck thoughts and rituals, for many teens these symptoms can have a big impact on many areas of their lives—particularly in friendships and self-confidence. In some ways these “side effects” can be worse than the stuck thoughts and rituals themselves.

for you to do

Get a piece of paper and answer the following questions:

excerpt from Cool, Calm, and Confident: A Workbook to Help Kids Learn Assertiveness Skills.

For You To Know

Solving problems with other people takes thought and energy. Sometimes it is hard to put aside our angry feelings and try to work things out. Learning and remembering some problem-solving guidelines can make it easier to act and resolve your problems assertively.

C— Calm down. “You have to be calm before you try to solve a problem or you’ll be too angry to think clearly,” she said.

A— Allow a good amount of time. “You have to allow enough time to really sit and listen to each other and work on the problem.”

T— Think ahead. “If you think ahead about what you want to say, what is important to you, and how you might solve the problem, you will stick to the subject and solve things more quickly.”

T—Talk nicely. “No name calling or saying mean things to the other person.”

S— Stay focused on one problem. “Don’t talk about other problems or things that happened days or weeks ago. Just stick to the one problem you have today.”