Part twelve of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

A useful concept for acceptance is the idea of holding a feeling. You could say to a client, "See if you can hold this feeling for a moment. Just hold it gently, hold it lightly." You can accentuate this intervention by asking the client to place a hand over the part of the body where she is feeling her pain most intensely: "Notice the warmth flowing from your hand into your body and see if you can just soften up or loosen up around the feeling. See if you can just hold it gently."

Part eleven of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

Many people don't know how we use the word "acceptance" in ACT. They may think it means resignation, tolerance, putting up with it, giving in to it, or even liking it. That's why, in the first half of my book, The Happiness Trap, I used the word "expansion" instead of acceptance. I wanted to convey the notion of opening up and making room for your thoughts and feelings. Here a few ways to convey acceptance in other words:

Part ten of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

One of the benefits of introducing self-as-context is that it reinforces or deepens the other three mindfulness processes: acceptance, defusion, and contact with the present moment. Once you've introduced 'the observing self' both conceptually and experientially, you can then use it as a defusion or acceptance technique in its own right.

Part nine of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

You can introduce self-as-context (the observing self) into traditional mindfulness exercises, such as "leaves on a stream," simply by adding in a couple of extra instructions:

• As you notice X, be aware you're noticing.
• There goes X, and there you are, noticing X.

Part eight of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

This is a tip I picked up from Kirk Strosahl, one of the original founders of ACT (although he tells me it's not his invention, and a number of brief therapies use some version of it).

When your client agrees to some specific action that he will take between sessions, ask "On a scale of one to ten, where one is 'I have no confidence I'm going to do this' and ten is 'I'm definitely going to do this, no matter what; it's as good as done,' how likely do you think it is that you will actually follow through on this?"

Part seven of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

There is a wealth of research showing that people are far more likely to follow through on a public commitment than on a private commitment. It can be helpful to share this with your clients before asking them to make a commitment. For example, you can say, "So you've been talking about some of the things you'd like to do in the next week or so to move forward in your life, and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to do something now that may possibly be a little uncomfortable. Research shows that people are far more likely to follow through on a commitment if they make it public. So if you're willing to—and you may feel a bit awkward or anxious—and you certainly don’t have to do it— commit to doing between this session and the next?"

Part six of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

We don't want clients to fuse with their values or the values will rapidly turn into rigid rules. We want to be aware of and in touch with our values, but not fused to them. I once heard Steven Hayes say it like this, "Pursue your values vigorously but hold them lightly." One way we can make this point metaphorically is to encourage clients to think of values like a compass that gives them direction and helps them stay on track. You want to be able to take your compass out, take a bearing, put it back in your backpack, and take off on your journey. If you always clutch it tightly in your hands, it will hinder your journey and drain the joy from it.

Part five of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

In doing values work, clients will often say something like, "I want to be a good mother" or "I want to be a good friend." These are useful starting points, but we need to explore further to get to more specific values. Useful questions might be: "So if you wanted to earn the title of good mother, how would you behave towards your children? What qualities would you want to develop and apply within that relationship?"

If a client is stumped, you can then follow up with the interview question:

Part four of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

We can establish a context of defusion from the very start of therapy simply via the questions we ask in taking a history. Here are a few examples of questions to ask:

Part three of a twelve-part series on ACT processes

In acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), we advocate judicious self-disclosure, if and when it validates or normalizes the client's experience, strengthens rapport, or allows us to model ACT processes for the client's benefit. In particular, we can model defusion very nicely through simple self-disclosure. For example, when a client has said something that completely throws me, I often say something like this: