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Want to give a gift that someone you love is likely to keep forever and will be meaningful to them for the rest of their lives? Regardless of the relationship, a validation letter is one of the most meaningful gifts you could choose. Sending a validation letter each year creates a tradition that will serve as a chronicle of the person's life as shared with you. Writing validation letters for young children serves as another way to communicate their importance to you and how much you love them. When they are older they will enjoy reading about your experience of their taking their first step, for example.
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The Power of Validation is published! While written as a parenting book focused on young children, the book teaches the steps of validation and can be used by anyone who wants to improve their relationships, by families of those with borderline personality disorder, and by anyone who wants to learn to validate him or herself.
Read the piece here.
by guest blogger Randi Kreger, co-author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and Splitting
"My pain, resentments, and sadness give me my strength. My strength ruined my mind, body, and soul. I've been trapped all my life--not by man or cages, but by my own emotions. Where I have been, what I have seen, when I travel inside myself, can be summed up by one word. Damn!"
These are the words that open a trailer for a documentary about Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall and his struggle with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Marshall revealed his diagnosis at a Miami press conference on July 31, 2011. Newspapers and television stations quickly picked it up.
Marshall credits McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass., where he spent three months undergoing intensive evaluation and treatment, for finally identifying his problem.
by guest blogger Kiera Van Gelder, MFA, author of The Buddha and the Borderline
When Merinda Epstein, a Policy and Law Reform Officer of the Mental Health Legal Centre in Melborne Australia, made the decision to “come out” with borderline personality disorder as a consumer advocate, her therapist was horrified. She asked Epstein, “why would you want to talk about that diagnosis in public for? You’ve got a perfectly good psychotic diagnosis to use in public!”
Such unfortunately is the reaction many of us who self-identify as “borderline” encounter. You can be a drug addict, have depression, OCD, schizophrenia, or any other number of diagnoses and people will shake your hand and congratulate you on your courage and honesty. But if you say you have BPD, everyone—from counselors to well meaning friends to even DBT therapists, will prophesize that you’ve just ruined your chances of ever getting a good job, relationship or credit rating. The last thing you ever want to be in the line-up of mental illnesses is borderline. Even if you have it. Perhaps, especially if you have it.
I didn’t know this at first. I came to the diagnosis from the twelve step community, where they say “you can’t save your ass and your face at the same time.” I didn’t care what I had, so long as I knew there’d be a solution to it. And the doctor assured me there was, in the form of a new treatment called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I called one of my few remaining friends as soon as I got out of the doctor’s office. “Good news!” I gushed “I have borderline personality disorder! And it makes perfect sense!”
There was a pause on the other end of the phone and then Laura shrieked, “there is no f-ing way you are borderline!!” I pulled the phone away from my ear. “Why not?” “Think fatal attraction.. Knives and stalking. Psychobitch from hell. That’s not you!”
May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month. To recognize it, we're giving away five copies of The Buddha & the Borderline
When: Today! (May 27)
Where: Twitterverse
How to Participate:
Selection of Winners:
Prize:
New Harbinger Publications
Susan Albers, PsyD
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW
Elisha Goldstein, PhD
Randi Gunther, PhD
Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Steven C. Hayes, PhD
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD
Susan Kuchinskas
Karen Leland
Tammy Nelson, PhD
Sheryl Paul
Suzanne Phillips, PsyD
Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D.
Stephanie Silberman, PhD
Pavel Somov, PhD
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D.
Susan Albers, PsyD "Comfort Cravings"
Ronald Alexander, PhD "The Wise Mind Open Mind"
Susan Bauer-Wu "Living Fully & Letting Go"
Stanley H. Block, MD "Come To Your Senses"
Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC "Teen Angst"
Elliot D. Cohen PhD "What Would Aristotle Do?"
Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, MPH "Real Healing"
Troy DuFrene "Fumbling for Change"
Russ Federman, PhD, ABPP "Bipolar You"
Lisa Firestone, PhD "Compassion Matters"
Robert Firestone, PhD "The Human Experience"
John P. Forsyth, PhD "Peace of Mind"
Paul Gilbert, PhD "Practice Compassion"
Barton Goldsmith, PhD "Emotional Fitness"
Ken Goss, DClinPsy "Practice Compassion"
Randi Gunther, PhD "Rediscovering Love"
Rick Hanson, PhD "Your Wise Brain"
Russ Harris, MD "The Happiness Trap"
Steven C. Hayes, PhD "Get Out of Your Mind"
Lynne Henderson, PhD "Practice Compassion"
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD "The Gift of ADHD"
Jonathan Kaplan, PhD "Urban Mindfulness"
Melissa Kirk "Test Case"
Bill Knaus, EdD "Science and Sensibility"
Randi Kreger "Stop Walking on Eggshells"
Marilyn Krieger, PhD "The White Knight Syndrome"
Mary Lamia, PhD "The White Knight Syndrome"
Karen Leland "The Perfect Blend"
Barbara Markway, PhD "Shyness Is Nice"
Kelly McGonigal, PhD "The Science of Willpower"
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW "Contemplating Divorce"
Stephanie Sarkis, PhD "Here, There, and Everywhere"
Jefferson Singer, PhD "Life Scripts"
Shawn Smith "Ironshrink"
Olga Trujillo, JD "The Sum of My Parts"
Cassandra Vieten, PhD "Mindful Motherhood"
Ruth C. White, PhD "Culture in Mind"
Psych Central
Elisha Goldstein, PhD "Mindfulness & Psychotherapy"
Christy Matta, MA "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood"
Suzanne Phillips, PsyD, ABPP "Healing Together for Couples"
Pavel Somov, PhD "360º of Mindful Living"
Web MD
Judith London, PhD
Sharecare
Annemarie Colbin, PhD
Margaret Floyd, NTP
Raychelle Lohmann, MS, LPC
Blake Taylor
Sheri Van Dijk
Ruth White, PhD