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Monday, May 24, 2010
how did you develop a critical inner voice?

excerpt from Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D., Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., and Joyce Catlett, M.A.


How is it that we can be so turned against ourselves? Where did this enemy within come from? How did we end up with this critical inner voice? The answers lie in the past when, as children we were trying to cope with our lives in the best way possible.


The nature and degree of this division within ourselves depends on the parenting we received and the early environment we experienced. Parents, like all of us, have mixed feelings toward themselves; they have things they like about themselves and they have self-critical thoughts and feelings. The same negative feelings that parents have toward themselves are unfortunately often directed toward their children as well. Therefore, parents have both loving feelings toward their children as well as critical thoughts and negative feelings toward them. Mothers and fathers who feel that they are bad find it difficult to believe that something good could come from them. In addition, children, just by their presence, tend to stir up in their parents the feelings they had when they were children. If a parent has unresolved feelings from their trauma or loss in his or her past, these feelings will impact his or her reactions to his or her children.

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Posted By newharb / 9:00 AM / Monday, May 24, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
being for yourself or against yourself

excerpt from Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice


All of us divided ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. On one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard, and we have traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable with in ourselves. We have natural tendencies to grow and develop and to pursue our personal and vocational goals, as well as desires to be close in our relationships and to search for meaning in life. In this book, these tendencies are referred to as the real you or your real self, because they are made up of friendly, compassionate view of yourself.

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Posted By newharb / 9:00 AM / Thursday, May 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Capturing Moments of Happiness
Many depressed people can’t conceive of feeling “happy.” The purpose of this section is to show you that you do experience at least momentary happiness on occasion. Most people, even those who aren’t depressed, don’t feel elation—a state of intense happiness—on a regular basis.  However, they do experience the many shades of happiness that are also available to you: Pleasure (watching a kitten play) Enjoyment (reveling in a hot bath or shower) Satisfaction (finishing a task) A sense of mastery (completing a difficult project) Relief (finishing a task you’d dreaded) Gratitude (when someone, even a stranger, unexpectedly does something nice for you in some small way, such as opening the door for you, picking up something you’ve dropped, or catching up to you to return something you inadvertently left behind in a cafe or on the subway) The purpose of noticing these approximations of happiness is this: first, to show you tha...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Ten Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment
By guest blogger Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.   We all want to feel happy and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joie de vivre and bring more happiness into you life.   1.   We are not alone. No this isn't about ET, it's about OP - other people. Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and you'll smile more. 2.   Hold on to your values. What you find true, what you know is fair, and what you believe in are all values. Over time, the more you honor them, the better you will feel about yourself and those you love. 3.   Accept the good. Look at your life and take stock of what's working and don't push away something just because it isn't perfect. When good things happen, even the very little ones, let them in. 4.   Imagine the best. Don't be afraid to look at what you really want and ...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Ten Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment
By guest blogger Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.   We all want to feel happy and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joive de vive and bring more happiness into you life.   1.   We are not alone. No this isn't about ET, it's about OP - other people. Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and you'll smile more. 2.   Hold on to your values. What you find true, what you know is fair, and what you believe in are all values. Over time, the more you honor them, the better you will feel about yourself and those you love. 3.   Accept the good. Look at your life and take stock of what's working and don't push away something just because it isn't perfect. When good things happen, even the very little ones, let them in. 4.   Imagine the best. Don't be afraid to look at what you really want and ...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Joy of the World
The energy flowing between you, your body, and your connections with the body of the world can be consciously appreciated - if you pay close enough attention. Let this practice of mindful listening to a larger body tune you in to the joy of the world. The next time you are part of an audience or group of people who are laughing, decide to explore the energetic connections of joy. Set your intention. For example, "May this practice inspire and enliven me." Direct your mindful attention to the sounds of laughter; notice the loudness, the high and low tones, the rising and fading sounds, and the quiet spaces. As thoughts or stories arise in your mind, let them go without following them. Notice the sensations in your body as the laughter flows around you. Enjoy the moment as your body feels the joyful energy flowing through it. Take comfort in the sounds of joy. You are part of this laughter and human c...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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NH Authors on Huffington Post Syndicate  
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NH Authors on Psych Central

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a blog by Russ Harris, MD