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excerpt from Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D., Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., and Joyce Catlett, M.A.
How is it that we can be so turned against ourselves? Where did this enemy within come from? How did we end up with this critical inner voice? The answers lie in the past when, as children we were trying to cope with our lives in the best way possible.
The nature and degree of this division within ourselves depends on the parenting we received and the early environment we experienced. Parents, like all of us, have mixed feelings toward themselves; they have things they like about themselves and they have self-critical thoughts and feelings. The same negative feelings that parents have toward themselves are unfortunately often directed toward their children as well. Therefore, parents have both loving feelings toward their children as well as critical thoughts and negative feelings toward them. Mothers and fathers who feel that they are bad find it difficult to believe that something good could come from them. In addition, children, just by their presence, tend to stir up in their parents the feelings they had when they were children. If a parent has unresolved feelings from their trauma or loss in his or her past, these feelings will impact his or her reactions to his or her children.
excerpt from Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice
All of us divided ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. On one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard, and we have traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable with in ourselves. We have natural tendencies to grow and develop and to pursue our personal and vocational goals, as well as desires to be close in our relationships and to search for meaning in life. In this book, these tendencies are referred to as the real you or your real self, because they are made up of friendly, compassionate view of yourself.
New Harbinger Publications
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Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
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Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D.
Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D.
Susan Kuchinskas
Karen Leland
Pavel Somov, Ph.D.
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D.
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Bill Knaus, Ed.D. "Science and Sensibility"
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D. "Mindful Motherhood"
Jefferson Singer, Ph.D. "Life Scripts"
John P. Forsyth, Ph.D. "Peace of Mind"
Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D. "Urban Mindfulness"
Karen Leland "The Perfect Blend"
Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. "The Science of Willpower"
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. "Compassion Matters"
Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D. "The White Knight Syndrome"
Mary Lamia, Ph.D. "The White Knight Syndrome"
Randi Kreger "Stop Walking on Eggshells"
Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC "Teen Angst"
Rick Hanson, Ph.D. "Your Wise Brain"
Robert Firestone, Ph.D. "The Human Experience"
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D. "The Wise Mind Open Mind"
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Russ Harris, MD "The Happiness Trap"
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Susan Albers, Psy.D. "Comfort Cravings"
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW "Contemplating Divorce"
Troy DuFrene "Fumbling for Change"
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. "Mindfulness & Psychotherapy"
Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP "Healing Together for Couples"
Pavel Somov, Ph.D. "360º of Mindful Living"
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