by guest blogger Karyn Hall, PhD, co-author of The Power of Validation

In January people evaluate their progress toward goals they made for the past year. Emotionally sensitive people evaluate themselves and wish they were different than they are regardless of what the calendar says. Change can be positive, but sometimes it’s learning acceptance that’s really needed–acceptance of who you are instead of judging yourself as unworthy and living in fear of being rejected.

Some societies don’t understand the concept of judging oneself as unworthy. Our culture tends to be competitive, based on the idea that we have to be “good enough” to succeed, to belong to certain groups, to not be rejected. Many, many years ago being part of a group was necessary for survival. Belonging is still a basic need for everyone.

by guest blogger Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder and Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens

Mindfulness is a way of living your life so that you are in the present moment more often, with awareness, and with acceptance. Acceptance in this context doesn't mean that you approve of your experience, but that you simply acknowledge your present experience without judging it.

So what does this have to do with self-esteem? Everything! Just stop for a moment and think about this: How often do you really think about what you're thinking about? Have you ever had someone ask you what you were thinking about, and you had no idea? We're often completely oblivious to what we're thinking and feeling; and when we are aware of these things, we're often judging these internal experiences. Self-talk has a big impact on how you feel, and when you judge yourself or beat yourself up, it triggers painful emotions like anger, anxiety, disappointment and sadness; and it lowers your self-esteem.

Consider these questions to help you think about how you talk to yourself:

excerpt from Everyday Bliss for Women

After I emerged from years of paralysis, I felt a tremendous need to apol­ogize for being slow, overweight, and lacking in strength. I did this by telling the story of my broken back to everyone I met, elaborating on both how much I had suffered—and was still suffering—and how hard I was working on my recovery.

Thanks to brilliant, caring friends and an extraordinarily dedi­cated yoga teacher, I realized that I wasn’t simply a broken-back story and got on with living my life.