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Articles from acceptance

Thursday, December 17, 2009

toxic power of negative belief stories

excerpt from Everyday Bliss for Women

After I emerged from years of paralysis, I felt a tremendous need to apologize for being slow, overweight, and lacking in strength. I did this by telling the story of my broken back to everyone I met, elaborating on both how much I had suffered—and was still suffering—and how hard I was working on my recovery.

Thanks to brilliant, caring friends and an extraordinarily dedicated yoga teacher, I realized that I wasn’t simply a broken-back story and got on with living my life.

Posted By newharb / 9:00 AM / Thursday, December 17, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ways of Seeing: Mindfulness Meditation

Excerpt from Peaceful Mind

Meditation starts with simply observing the mind and body without necessarily trying to change what is seen or the seer. Most people come to meditation with the hope of changing their sense of self, but the inherent framework of a meditation practice is actually not geared towards self-improvement. Rather, meditation is more radically geared towards accepting life as it is.

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, September 25, 2009

Monday, August 03, 2009

Praise or Shame?

Excerpt from What’s Right With Me: Positive Ways to Celebrate Your Strengths, Build Self-Esteem, and Reach Your Potential

If we look back at our lives with curiosity and kindness, we might be startled at our bravery. Often, we are taken aback by our natural propensity as children to explore what we truly enjoyed.... We are still as brave, creative, and determined.

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Monday, August 03, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Secret First Step to Mindful Eating

by guest blogger Susan Albers, Psy.D. Acceptance is one of the seven skills of a mindful eater. It sounds counterintuitive that accepting yourself just as you are is a necessary step to mindful eating and losing weight. If you have struggled with disordered eating or dieting, you know first hand the emotional tug-of-war that comes with accepting your natural body shape as it is. Too often, disliking your body or refusing to accept your size leads to repetitive fad dieting, self-hate and a harsh inner critic. You can easily get caught in punishing yourself by depriving yourself of food, wearing uncomfortable clothes, or you might rob yourself of good times because you are afraid to be in a bathing suit around friends. The path to mindful eating begins with looking at your situation threw a new lens. So, what is acceptance? Acceptance is defined as experiencing a situation and having no intention of trying to change it. If acceptance is tou...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Friday, May 08, 2009

Mindful Motherhood: The Freedom to Choose

Mindfulness is great in situations where you don’t want to change anything about what is happening, but it’s still distressing, and you’d like to be able to remain present and able to function in the face of that distress. For example, you may need to interview for a job that you want a lot, and you feel quite intimidated and nervous. You might be called upon to speak publicly about something you are passionate about and really want to do it, but you’re also seized by stage fright. You may have anxiety about flying but really want to visit your grandmother who lives on the opposite side of the country. Or, you might have a baby who is crying due to stomach pain or colic, and while you may not be able to change the situation, you really want to be able to remain present, aware, and nurturing in those moments. We all have our favorite coping strategies to deal with situations like this—some healthy and some not as healthy. Some of these are calling a friend, taking a walk, taking some...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 08, 2009

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Mindful Acceptance

Your relationship with your body and how you view it can affect everything you do in life. When you’re feeling well and looking good, you give little thought to where you go or whom you might run into. But if you’re feeling self-conscious or preoccupied with something you don’t like about your body, then you might avoid other people or situations where others might see your perceived flaws. For example, one woman admitted that when her acne flared up, she spent days isolating at home. This next exercise will teach you how to accept your body nonjudgmentally. Begin by observing the negative thoughts and criticisms that you have toward your body, such as “I’m fat and ugly” or “I’m too scrawny and need more muscles” or “I hate my thighs.” Take a quiet moment to experience these random negative thoughts. Then, begin to practice nonjudgmental acceptance of yourself by saying aloud or thinking, “I’m not perfect. This is the body that I was born with and I am learning ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Monday, April 27, 2009

On Becoming Unbalanced in Midlife

By guest blogger Janet Horn, M.D. I’ve become unbalanced. This didn’t develop slowly; rather, it seemed to happen overnight. Two things occurred right around the time I realized this problem. Perhaps they even caused me to realize it. The first thing occurred with Teddy, my dog. Teddy is a standard poodle of sixty pounds and 9 years, with a prancing gait and a beautiful red coat. One of the first things you would notice about him is his posture, at both rest and in motion. At rest, he looks like a sculpture – head erect, front legs placed directly in front of him, sometimes crossed, sometimes not – holding this position completely still for long periods of time. When walking or running, he is wonderfully coordinated, no one body part moving more or less than any other part. It was with some upset, then, when one day I noticed him falling as he walked. Not just a simple fall – more like crumpling. His entire body simply folded and collapsed. At first I thought he must’ve tr...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Monday, April 27, 2009

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Loving-kindness toward difficult emotions: Be still

If you're restless and don't know what to do with yourself, stay where you are. Just be still, be quiet. Let the eagerness to do something cool down. Let the pull of the outside world release its grip on you. Just as the sediment in a bottle settles to the bottom, so will your emotions if you let them be still. Wherever you are in this moment, stay there. Don't go anywhere. You are right where you need to be. Bring your attention to your breath. Take three or four deep breaths. When you inhale, let it be deep. When you exhale, let the breath out slowly. Now repeat the following phrases to yourself a few times. Every time you say the words, let them penetrate your restlessness. May I have courage. May I trust myself. May I have patience. May I be free from fear. Remember, you are right where you need to be. from The Gift of Loving-Kindness: 100 Meditations on Compassion, Generosi...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Thursday, April 23, 2009