by guest blogger Judith Siegel Ph.D., LCSW, author of Stop Overreacting

Too often, people believe that the best way to manage anger is to suppress it. I have worked with so many clients whose problems are directly linked to their need to distance from their ‘bad’ feelings. But is anger always bad? Research based on neuro-imaging suggests that anger is an emotional response that generates from the amygdala. Like other hard-wired emotions, anger is a response to stimuli that sets off a reaction in our minds and bodies. The most important question is not how to suppress it, but to understand how we process it. Working with beliefs about anger is helpful, but is only part of the solution. If childhood experiences with adult anger have programmed us to shut down, then it is almost impossible to access thoughts and beliefs in the presence of the emotional intensity and anxiety that anger produces.

A new approach to anger management is to focus on helping connect the dots. One line of dots runs from the left to the right hemisphere of the brain, creating a neural pathway between thoughts and feelings. Without that path, the triggers that have generated anger can not be comprehended, and the result is senseless rage or shutdown. Another set of dots that need to be connected runs between awareness of our physical selves and awareness of feelings. I have worked with so many people who, even in the middle of an explosive outburst, have no awareness that they are angry. Learning to measure the degree of anger that you feel at any given moment in time is a helpful exercise, for it is important to comprehend and accept that there is a full range of emotional experience that involve both mind and body.

New Harbinger Publications is now on Huffington Post! Our first piece is Top 10 Tips for Getting Your Dream Job. Bill Knaus, Ed.D., co-author of Fearless Job Hunting wrote this piece.

To see our latest pieces, please visit our Huffington Post page. Look forward to more pieces from a host of authors in the future!

by guest blogger Kiera Van Gelder, MFA, author of The Buddha and the Borderline

When Merinda Epstein, a Policy and Law Reform Officer of the Mental Health Legal Centre in Melborne Australia, made the decision to “come out” with borderline personality disorder as a consumer advocate, her therapist was horrified. She asked Epstein, “why would you want to talk about that diagnosis in public for? You’ve got a perfectly good psychotic diagnosis to use in public!”

Such unfortunately is the reaction many of us who self-identify as “borderline” encounter. You can be a drug addict, have depression, OCD, schizophrenia, or any other number of diagnoses and people will shake your hand and congratulate you on your courage and honesty. But if you say you have BPD, everyone—from counselors to well meaning friends to even DBT therapists, will prophesize that you’ve just ruined your chances of ever getting a good job, relationship or credit rating. The last thing you ever want to be in the line-up of mental illnesses is borderline. Even if you have it. Perhaps, especially if you have it.

I didn’t know this at first. I came to the diagnosis from the twelve step community, where they say “you can’t save your ass and your face at the same time.” I didn’t care what I had, so long as I knew there’d be a solution to it. And the doctor assured me there was, in the form of a new treatment called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I called one of my few remaining friends as soon as I got out of the doctor’s office. “Good news!” I gushed “I have borderline personality disorder! And it makes perfect sense!”

There was a pause on the other end of the phone and then Laura shrieked, “there is no f-ing way you are borderline!!” I pulled the phone away from my ear. “Why not?” “Think fatal attraction.. Knives and stalking. Psychobitch from hell. That’s not you!”

by guest blogger Fugen Neziroglu, Ph.D., co-author of Overcoming Compulsive Hoarding

Hoarding is defined as the acquisition and failure to discard a vast amount of items that appear to have little or no value. It is a serious disorder that can have a severe impact on one’s everyday life. The clutter associated with hoarding provides a lack of functional living space, and even can lead to unsafe, unsanitary living conditions. Hoarding is often associated with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) with 20-30% of individuals with OCD showing hoarding symptoms. However, hoarding can also be seen in obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), depression, dementia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and eating disorders.

While many individuals may acquire multiple items or collect things, individuals with hoarding have difficulty in regulating the amount of items that are acquired, discarding items, and /or organizing the items. Many individuals with hoarding provide rationales for hanging on to their objects. This reasoning includes emotional comfort, a reminder of an important memory, a perceived value of the item, or a sense of responsibility that one must not be wasteful, and control over their possessions among others. Individuals that hoard items can have an intense perceived connection to the items acquired, thus discarding the item can provoke severe anxiety.

The repercussions of hoarding are severe and dangerous. Individuals that hoard have poor quality of life. Their living space is often unhealthy and unsafe. The incredible amount of clutter and disorganization can lead to health issues including headaches, insomnia, and allergies. Often there can be structural damage to homes such as water leaks due to the weight of the possessions, as well as fire hazards with the multitude of items blocking the exits. Additionally, hoarding may to lead to social isolation. The clutter environment does not provide opportunities for others to visit. Hoarding greatly affects family members as well as the patients. Hoarding can lead to strain in familial relationships. There may be financial problems or resentment from a spouse, child, or sibling, ending in divorce, separation, or children moving out of the home. Family members have to make accommodations and adjustments to their everyday life, for example, children and spouses cannot have friends over due to the living conditions.

by guest blogger Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, author of Stronger Day by Day

One of the most common questions newly divorcing people have for me is, "how long will it take before I'm over this divorce ordeal?

My answer is always the same: "How long it takes to "recover" from a divorce depends on a number of factors, including how long you were together, how good the relationship was and how committed you were to your spouse, whether the divorce was a surprise to you or not, whether you have children together, whether you or your spouse are involved in a new relationship, your personality, your age, your socio-economic status and on and on.

I liken the undoing of a marriage to trying to disentangle two trees that have grown next to each other for years. The more intertwined the root systems are, the longer it will take for the trees to go their separate ways.

by guest blogger Randi Gunther, Ph.D., author of Relationship Saboteurs.

Many people begin relationships with hope and optimism, only to have each of them end without apparent reason. They painstakingly go over every detail, but can't seem to find the clues that explain why or how that happens.

"When I fall in love, I give everything I've got to make a relationship work. Even if my partner doesn't reciprocate perfectly right away, it doesn't matter. I keep thinking that if I do it right, I'll get what I want eventually. I know I sometimes get resentful when I'm doing most of the giving, but I still keep looking for ways to make my partner happy. And they sure seem to enjoy it when we first get together. I don't know why they leave when they're getting such a great deal."

by guest blogger Laura J. Knoff, NC, author of The Whole-Food Guide to Overcoming Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Many people are discovering that they are sensitive to wheat, dairy and sugar. Is this a new phenomenon or just a key to the mystery of mood disorders in some people? In 1980, Dr William Philpott outlined the connection of food allergies and food addictions to many psychological conditions from autism to schizophrenia in his book Brain Allergies. The connection of food to mood is often not investigated, but just as the psyche can affect the body, the body has an affect on the psyche. In Psychology Today, October 30, 2009, depression is just one symptom of celiac disease, (an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that is triggered by eating gluten containing foods). Celiac is not diagnosed nearly as often as it occurs and is frequently misdiagnosed as IBS or as many other conditions. Anyone with a family history of diabetes, heart disease, allergies, ADHD, autism, digestive conditions or celiac disease may find that by completely avoiding foods containing gluten, casein, and sugar they feel much better.

by guest blogger Lisa Frankfort, LMFT, co-author of How to Stop Backing Down and Start Talking Back

“You know what I mean?” How often is this said in ordinary conversation? Sometimes to check in with the listener before continuing on, but sometimes it’s framed as a statement that indicates assumed understanding.

Do we, as therapists understand what our clients mean by certain words, terms or cultural jargon? Do we ask for clarification or admit a lack of understanding? Often, we don’t. Why is this? We want to be seen as empathic, as wise, as “getting” our clients’ world. We want to foster a feeling of closeness and connection. Even if they have been misunderstood by the world, we can offer something else. “You know what I mean?” “Yeah.”

by guest blogger Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book and The Gift of Adult ADD, and Listening to Depression

The quickest way to transform your child’s problem into strengths is to ask yourself repeatedly “What is right with my child?” This will force you to find your child’s gifts. One parent whose child didn’t do as well as other children in school, was able to tell herself that her child was creative and artistic and she could foster those qualities. When she was tempted to sink into despair when she compared her own son with other kids who seemed to easily do well in school she asked herself “What’s right with my child?” It will be normal to compare your child to others. There is no way to avoid doing so in our competitive culture. I think that there is no freedom from worry when you are a parent, but you can find freedom IN your worry. That means that you recognize that worry is the work of being a parent and you channel it into productive action and stay positive.

by guest blogger Carol Krucoff, E-RYT, author of Healing Yoga for Neck and Shoulder Pain

One of the most frequent comments I hear from people who learn that I teach yoga is, “Oh, I’d love to try yoga, but I’m not flexible enough.”

To which I typically reply, “That’s like thinking your house is too messy to hire a maid.”

The idea that you must twist yourself into a pretzel to do yoga is one of many common misconceptions about this powerful form of self-care and transformation. In fact, the only prerequisite for practicing yoga is the ability to breathe! I tell people who think they’re too old, too inflexible or too unfit to try yoga that if you can breathe, you can benefit from this healing practice.

I’ve taught yoga to people of all ages and abilities—including those dealing with cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis, arthritis, blindness, fibromyalgia, back pain and leg amputation. Advanced postures like headstand are part of the yoga practice for some people, but they are by no means required. Your yoga practice should be tailored to fit your own needs and abilities.

Here are a few more myths about yoga that I’d like to dispel: