excerpt from The Whole-Food Guide for Breast Cancer Survivors

Introduction

Few things are more devastating to a person’s peace of mind than a cancer diagnosis. It brings up fears not only for our own health but also for the well-being of our families, friends, and loved ones. For this reason and because it takes the lives of thousands of Americans every day, cancer has been the subject of intense scrutiny for half a century and has been studied for more than one hundred years.

Scientists have come to the conclusion that cancer is a chronic disease of the genome that can appear in anyone at any time, triggered by genetic predisposition and a confluence of interactions with the environment. Yet not everyone with the breast cancer gene develops the disease. Whether a woman avoids developing breast cancer, genetics notwithstanding, has everything to do with a myriad of other factors, including exposure to environmental factors, diet, lifestyle, stress, and more.

Once a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, an inevitable fear permeates her body and mind, and her friends and family are affected as well. Alarming questions emerge: Why did this happen to me? Why now? How serious is this illness? What treatment will be suggested? What can I do to improve my chances of having a happy and healthy life after treatment? If this cancer goes away, how can I minimize the risk of recurrence? Too often, some of these important questions go unanswered.

by guest blogger Stephanie Sarkis, PhD, author of 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD, 2nd ed.: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction and Accomplish Your Goals

Here’s what I’m thinking about when starting this next year of 2012:

There's a trick to keeping your resolutions. It's amazingly simple, yet so effective. Ready?

Tell people about your resolutions.

That's it.

Why is this so effective? Because you've now taken your resolutions from private to public. Now people know.

excerpt from Present Perfect by Pavel Somov, PhD

Imagination is always at least one step ahead of reality. When we appraise the world, ourselves, or others, we compare what is (the real) with what theoretically could be (the imagined).

Say you got a B on a test. You look at this grade and you think that you could have done better, that you could have gotten an A. But that’s theory. The reality is that you got a B, not an A, and this B represented your practical (not theoretical) best.

With this in mind, let me ask you this: what do you mean by perfection—the theoretical best or the practical best? When you think about perfection, are you thinking about the imaginary perfection of what could be or about the perfection of what actually is? Of course, this is something of a rhetorical question. I know the answer: as a perfectionist, you define perfection as a theoretical best. That’s exactly why you are never satisfied with reality as it is.

It’s hard to look forward to our favorite foods when we’re taught to feel fearful, guilty and ashamed for eating — and actually enjoying it.

I think the key to enjoying food – without feeling guilty – is to shift our perspective: from seeing food as enemy #1, 2 and 3, as a sin and something not “worth the calories” (how many times have you said that?) to viewing it with awe, appreciation and curiosity.

Mindfulness gives us the opportunity to do all three.

In True Belonging: Mindful Practices to Help You Overcome Loneliness, Connect with Others & Cultivate Happiness, Jeffrey Brantley, M.D, and Wendy Millstine, NC, also offer great ideas on eating mindfully. First, before you even begin your meal, they suggest taking a few slow breaths.

They also note the importance of thinking about the origins of our food, and how incredibly connected we are to so many people through our meal.

They write:

Read the rest of "The Best Way To Enjoy Your Food This Holiday Season" on Psych Central

I don’t live in a big city. (In fact, the only noises I typically hear are birds chirping or cats in heat. Don’t ask.) But I’ve lived in NYC and have been visiting my family there several times a year for over a decade. So I have a fairly good grasp of what it’s like to be surrounded by a cacophony of car horns and ambulance sirens, a flurry of feet pounding the pavement, and hours (many hours) of traffic. Though it has many perks, city life is rarely peaceful or serene.

That’s why I really like the book Urban Mindfulness: Cultivating Peace, Presence & Purpose in the Middle of It All by Jonathan S. Kaplan, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and founder of UrbanMindfulness.org. In it, he addresses specific problems that plague city dwellers and gives readers a variety of strategies to feel more calm and fulfilled. (He lives in NYC, so I think he knows what he’s talking about.)

Read the rest of "4 Tips on Cultivating Mindfulness When You Live in a Busy, Bustling City" on Psych Central

excerpt from Just One Thing by Rick Hanson, PhD

To take any steps toward your own well-being, you have got to be on your own side. Not against others, but for yourself.

For many people, that’s harder than it sounds. Maybe you were raised to think you didn’t count as much as other people. Maybe when you’ve tried to stick up for yourself, you’ve been blocked or knocked down. Maybe deep down you feel you don’t deserve to be happy.

Think about what it’s like to be a good friend to someone. Then ask: Am I that kind of friend to myself?

If not, you could be too hard on yourself, too quick to feel you’re falling short, too dismissive of what you get done each day. Or too half-hearted about protecting yourself from mistreatment or telling others what you really need. Or too resigned to you own pain, or too slow about doing those things—both inside your head and outside it, in the wider world—to make your life better.

Plus, how can you truly help others if you don’t start by helping yourself?

The foundation of all practice is to wish yourself well, to let your own sorrows and needs and dreams matter to you. Then, whatever you do for yourself will have real oomph behind it!

excerpt from When Love Stumbles by Randi Gunther Ph.D.

For most of us, those feelings of being deeply known and unconditionally treasured first occurred when we were small children. Protected from the more conditional demands of the outside world, we could express our needs and feel entitled to their fulfillment. As an adult newly in love, we are likely to activate those childhood desires, sharing the words, phrases, and feelings that we remember from that time.

excerpt from Splitting by Bill Eddy LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger

Regardless of where you are right now in the separation and divorce process, we recommend an assertive approach (in contrast to an aggressive or passive approach) in dealing with the potential splitting that may already have begun. …An assertive approach involves actively learning about personality problems, cultivating energy for dealing with such problems, documenting events (what happened and what was said), and actively presenting your information to legal professionals, the court, or both.

It’s perfectly understandable and normal to feel like responding aggressively when someone acts aggressively toward you. You might try to eliminate your partner from your life and from your children’s lives, or trash her the way she trashed you, but this common mistake backfires in court. Legal professionals may view you as the splitter and an equal party (or the primary party!) engaged in misbehavior. Even if that isn’t true, you don’t want to give your partner any ammunition to use against you in out of court. An aggressive approach by you can increase your partner’s unwanted behavior. Resist the urge to act aggressively, and mentally prepare yourself; in the long run you will be very glad you did.

excerpt from Bipolar 101 by Ruth C. White, PhD, MPH, MSW and John D. Preston, PsyD, ABPP

Stress has such an impact on our minds, bodies, and spirits that it exacerbates mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder. Stress is a significant trigger for episodes of bipolar disorder. Obviously, people who don’t have bipolar disorder get irritable, impatient, and short-tempered when faced with chronic stress, but for people with bipolar disorder, uncontrolled stress can lead to dangerous manic or depressive symptoms. The degree of stress we have in response to environmental stressors is partly genetic but can be controlled when we learn behaviors that minimize its impact on our psyches, relationships, and bodies.

Coping with stress has to do with our response to our environments. Having bipolar disorder can be very stressful and creates anxiety that reinforces symptoms. But with psychotherapy and medications that reduce anxiety, those of us who have bipolar disorder can learn how to live in the present moment without worrying as much what might happen if we have an episode. When in the midst of an episode, we may feel anxious that it might result in a hospitalization. Though we may feel we have no control over whether or not that happens, learning to cope with our stress in a healthier way helps us focus more effectively on managing our symptoms, which reduces the likelihood of being hospitalized or having a severe episode.

excerpt from Emotional Fitness for Couples

The course of working through a healing process in your relationship can be a burden. You can spend so much time working things out that you forget the reason you came together in the first place. Sometimes you stop doing those things that created the fond memories you are trying to hold on to.

Sometimes it’s important to put aside the working-it-out process and just have a good time. This gives you a chance to allow the other feelings you are processing to settle and find their proper place. It gives you an opportunity to reconnect on a different, yet familiar level.

We can forget how to play with each other because our competitive lifestyles have taught us how to play against each other. Playing with your partner will help heal your relationship. Remembering how to have fun takes a little time and experimentation, but, like riding a bike, it’s something you never forget.