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Monday, February 08, 2010
make room for love

Excerpt from Five Good Minutes® with the One You Love


Have you ever noticed how negative emotions such as anger and resentment can take up enormous space in your life? Well, move over hatred! Let's make room for more love. Take these next few minutes for an expansive love meditation.


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Posted By newharb / 9:00 AM / Monday, February 08, 2010
Friday, February 05, 2010
test your romantic intelligence

Excerpt from Romantic Intelligence


Are you as smart in love as you are in life? Test your Romantic Intelligence.


A. Love at first sight happens:

  1. All the time
  2. Rarely
  3. If you’re looking for it
  4. Never
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Posted By newharb / 9:00 AM / Friday, February 05, 2010
Thursday, February 04, 2010
the many faces of the distancer

Excerpt from Stop Running From Love


"Distancing" is a big category. Distancers come in many shapes and sizes. They can be single or in long-term couple relationships, gay or straight, women or men, young or old. Here are a few brief glimpses of typical distancers:

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Posted By newharb / 11:00 AM / Thursday, February 04, 2010
Thursday, October 22, 2009
the meaning of commitment and a walk down memory lane

Excerpt from In the Mood, Again

Commitment is promising to share your life with one anther and to remain faithful. Although this can be a bit frightening, you have to admit it is also quite exciting. If your partner possesses attributes that you consider important and you both share a similar value system, why not? You are most likely partnered with your best friend. What can be nicer than sharing your life with your best friend?

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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Opening Your Heart

Excerpt from Five Good Minutes with the One You Love

Even the busiest people can begin to reconnect with the sources of life and love in a relationship if they learn to inhabit the present moment with sensitive and caring attention. Through simple, mindfulness-based practices for stopping, relaxing, connecting, and staying here, the momentum of hurry and worry becomes less compelling. Something else more precious and sustaining returns. The opportunity for a different experience arises. Exploration of deeper, more positive feelings suddenly seems possible, even easier.

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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Terrorizing/Terrified White Knight

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D., authors of The White Knight Syndrome


The following case, a composite of many individuals, illustrates how the terrorizing/terrified white knight's unhealthy attempts to feel in control and safe damages her relationships.

 

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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Many Faces of the Distancer
The Many Faces of the Distancer “Distancing” is a big category. Distancers come in many shapes and sizes.  They can be single or in long-term couple relationships, gay or straight, women or men, young or old. Here are a few brief glimpses of typical distancers: Distancer Categories There are three broad and encompassing distancer categories: the Disappearing Distancer, the Defended Distancer, and the Distracted Distancer. Within each of these categories, there are predictable variations. The Disappearing Distancer Disappearing distancers are the easiest category of distancers to identify. You may recognize yourself as the disappearing distancer who completely avoids getting into relationships. Or you may be the type of disappearing distancer who occasionally approaches courtship but is too afraid of being trapped or smothered to stick around for long. The Defended Distancer The second category is crowded, so if you are a defended dista...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
"But It's Not Sex!" What is an Emotional Affair?
Emotional affairs are amazingly complex relationships that come in many varieties, which means that no single definition can hope to completely describe them all. Nevertheless, it’s possible to define emotional affairs based upon their most general characteristics. Here is our definition: an emotional affair is an intense, primarily emotional, nonsexual relationship that diminishes at least one person’s emotional connection with his or her committed partner. Now let’s pull this definition apart to look at its major components. The Intensity of the Emotional Affair One way emotional affairs differ from mere friendships is that the people involved in them become “positively charged.” By that, we mean that people like May and Brad are strongly attracted toward each other. They look forward with great anticipation to their meetings.  And when they do get together, whether face to face, by phone, or even by e-mail, they become engrossed with each other. Time flies so fast that ...
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Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, June 09, 2009
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a blog by Russ Harris, MD