The course of working through a healing process in your relationship can be a burden. You can spend so much time working things out that you forget the reason you came together in the first place. Sometimes you stop doing those things that created the fond memories you are trying to hold on to.

Sometimes it’s important to put aside the working-it-out process and just have a good time. This gives you a chance to allow the other feelings you are processing to settle and find their proper place. It gives you an opportunity to reconnect on a different, yet familiar level.

We can forget how to play with each other because our competitive lifestyles have taught us how to play against each other. Playing with your partner will help heal your relationship. Remembering how to have fun takes a little time and experimentation, but, like riding a bike, it’s something you never forget.

Having fun doesn’t require a great deal of time or expense. In fact, as a couple it can be really enjoyable doing mundane things around the house. Even cleaning out a closet can prove to be more of a treasure hunt than a chore as you talk about the memories brought up by the things you find.

Doing things like this with your partner can turn a simple task into a creative exercise, and you will discover some new qualities about each other.

Other fun and inexpensive activities like going to swap meets, taking walks, and cooking together can be very intimate. You also can play games, dance in the living room, or just go for a drive. Creating a break in your normal routine can be as easy as doing nice things for no good reason.

Romance should also be fun. Most couples don’t plan time to be together romantically, and so it happens less and less frequently. A good romantic relationship can create a lot of fulfillment, and little things can be very romantic. Have you ever brought home a single rose for your partner or sent them a card? Do you kiss often and when least expected?

Playing with your partner is as important as being there in a crisis. It says that you care, and it gives you both a break from dealing with the day-to-day issues we all face.

So kiss each other, hold hands, and create some fun in your world.

The idea here is to add some fun and romance into your lives by thinking and acting outside the box. Try taking a bubble bath by candlelight together. Put aside any preconceptions, and don’t worry about spilling water on the floor. Just plan to be together in a fun way. Do something outside the box at least once a week.

excerpt from Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.