Most people who self-injure keep their behavior secret. They might feel that they are the only ones in the world who act this way. Even people who are seeing counselors may be ashamed to admit that they hurt themselves.

In the last few years, more people have talking about self-injury, and it has become less secret. Many books have been written about self-injury. There are also many websites and blogs, although it is important for you to be aware that not everything you read on the Internet is in your best interest.

The more people talk about self-injury, the more we can understand how to help people with this problem. Separating myths from facts is always a step in the right direction.

what do you know about people who self-injure?

• Only a few very sick people self-injure. FALSE

Approximately 1 percent of the population has, at one time or another, used self-inflicted physical injury as a means of coping with an overwhelming situation or feeling.



• Teens who hurt themselves are trying to commit suicide, but they don’t have the nerve. FALSE

While some teens who self-injure are also suicidal and think often about death, most teens say that when they self-injure they are not trying to die. Most say that their self-injury is a way of coping with the pain in their lives, and some say that it has become just a habit.



• There are many ways that people self-injure. TRUE

Self-injury is defined as intentionally hurting yourself. People find many ways to do this, but most commonly they cut or burn their skin.



• People who self-injure are crazy and should be put in hospitals. FALSE

According to Tracy Alderman, author of The Scarred Soul, most self-inflicted wounds are not life threatening and may not even require medical attention. Some teens are put in a hospital for a short period because the adults in their lives are afraid and don’t know what else to do. Experts in this field have suggested that hospitalization can actually make matters worse. Most teens who hurt themselves are trying to find control in their lives, and involuntary hospitalization makes them feel worse, potentially leading to even more self-injury.



• Teens who self-injure are just trying to get attention from their parents. FALSE

Some teens say that they began to self-injure when they were trying to get attention for their emotional troubles, but when they thought about it, they realized that their behavior was really a silent cry for help and not designed to attract attention. In fact, the majority of teens who hurt themselves go to great lengths to hide their scars and their behaviors from adults, particularly their parents. Many professionals believe that all psychological symptoms are ways of trying to get help, but the symptoms are often so disguised that people don’t recognize them for what they are. That is, of course, a big part of the problem.



• Self-inflicted wounds are a way of being accepted at school. FALSE

While some teens will form a clique with other teens who self-injure, very few teens say that they harm themselves just to be a part of a group. There is an expression that “misery loves company,” and it is more likely that teens who are unhappy find comfort in being around other teens with similar feelings.



• Only teens who have other serious psychological problems will harm themselves. FALSE

While it is true that some teens who self-injure do have other very serious problems, which they may have had for many years, this is certainly not the case with everyone.



• If your wounds are superficial, your self-injury may be just a phase. FALSE

The severity of self-injury has very little to do with the feelings you might have. People have different tolerances to pain and they have different ways to hurt themselves. When teens hurt themselves, it should be taken seriously.



• Girls and boys typically self-injure in different ways. TRUE

While it is true that girls more commonly fall into a pattern of self-injury, there are many boys who do this too. Some people think that girls who self-injure are just found out more often than boys. Others think that boys are more indirect in seeking self-injury and are more likely to hurt themselves through high-risk behaviors, such as extreme sports.

excerpt from Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Teens Who Cut and Self Injure by Lawrence E. Shapiro Ph.D.