Self-confidence affords you the belief that, within reason, you do have the ability and skills to accomplish what you envision for yourself. Since confidence isn’t with each of us all the time and in all situations, our beliefs and behavior can change according to the tasks and situations at hand. You can be confident in one area of your life but not in another. For example, you may be confident in math but not in biology. You may be confident in your academic abilities but not in sports. You may relish the excitement of giving a talk before a large crowd but feel awkward going on a first date.

Since self-confidence exists within the context of your own beliefs, self-image, self-esteem, self-efficacy, memories, and perceptions, it can be summed up in three terms: attitudes (how you feel), behavior (what you do), and cognitions (what you think).

Attitudes

Attitude is a key psychological concept. Made up of your moods and emotions, your attitude is the sum of the convictions you hold. Attitudes can be either negative or positive views of a person, event, or situation.

Has anyone ever said to you, or have you ever said to someone else, “You really have a bad attitude”? Having a bad attitude colors your beliefs, your images of yourself, and most certainly your behavior. Or, have you ever heard someone say about a person who has experienced very difficult or tragic events, “Can you believe what a good attitude she has, after all she’s been through?” In the face of devastating news, some people seem to be able to move on and in some cases actually become better people. I recall one person with a terminal diagnosis telling me some years ago, “This diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me.” How could this be? I asked. The person’s response was, “It’s given me a clarity of purpose, put things into perspective, and now I’m not afraid of living life to the fullest anymore.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all have a strong sense of belief and conviction, without needing a diagnosis to give us a kick in the pants? It’s these feeling-based attitudes that lead to the B in the ABCs of self-confident behavior.

Behavior

Your behavior is the actions or reactions you have in response to a person, event, or situation. Always in relationship to your environment, behavior can be conscious or unconscious, voluntary or involuntary. However, attitudes don’t always predict behavior. You might believe that exercising is good for you, but you just can’t seem to motivate yourself to change your behavior and go jogging.

Behavior is related to your nervous system, and humans, with our complex nervous systems, have a great capacity to learn new responses and adjust our behavior. Your behavior follows your attitudes and beliefs and can change in the direction of your beliefs.

Twelve-step programs for addiction recovery sometimes encourage “faking it till you make it” or “acting as if” in order to practice new behavior. This means that you can act as if you have the confidence you desire, and, with daily practice, you’ll start to behave accordingly. Imagining yourself fully in command will put the B into your ABCs.

Cognition

Cognition involves your memory, perceptions, judgments, and generally how you think about life and yourself. Specifically, we utilize the stories and pictures in our heads, called schemas by psychologists. Schemas, which make exceptional use of beliefs and images, are mental representations of concepts that we use in an unconscious process to help us know how to respond to new situations. When we encounter or anticipate new and unappealing situations, such as a dreaded sales meeting, or even meeting new people, the mind searches for memories of similar situations with which to compare the new or unknown ones. Cognition, or what you think about, links up with your attitudes and behavior like a triangle to form the basis of how you are in the world as a human being.

Together, your attitudes, behavior, and cognition form the ABCs of your confidence.

excerpt from Visualize Confidence: How to Use Guided Imagery to Overcome Self-Doubt by Kirwan Rockefeller Ph.D.