by guest blogger Bria Simpson, MA

When I wrote The Balanced Mom, I knew that moms needed to hold onto their unique selves as individuals if they wanted to be truly happy.  Since our culture is extremely child-centered, it's easy to feel that focusing on one's SELF is selfish, even dabbling in the realm of being a "bad mom".  In reality, including ourselves on our priority list benefits everyone in the family because we are happier and more energized.

Since then, I've worked with hundreds of moms as a life and business coach.  Moms come to me in search of balance and fulfillment.  What I now know is that for most moms, real balance includes finding a job or creating a career they genuinely enjoy- with the balance they want at home.  Moms are NOT the same person they were before they had kids.  At some point, if they enjoyed work and had strongly identified with it before kids - and have stepped off the career path - often, a nagging feeling that "something is missing" begins to surface.

And it hits at different times for different moms.  Some moms know immediately they need the work aspect to feel balanced (and sane).  Others take a 3-4 year break (like I did), and still others wait much longer.  Regardless, at some point, if they – and you - want long-term balance, they will likely need to reclaim their identity as an INDIVIDUAL through some kind of meaningful work.  And ideally, that work is fulfilling because it is a natural extension of them.  

Over my 13 years of working professionally with moms, I've found that combining the identity piece with good self-care and quality time with kids, significant others and close friends, is the best recipe for long-term balance and happiness.  


Bria Simpson, MA is a life coach, parenting specialist, and author of The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self.  Visit her website, http://thebalancedmomcoach.com to download free audio, sign up for her ezine, and comment on her blog.