With all of the pressures of modern motherhood and the challenges to living a peaceful, balanced life, it’s easy to neglect yourself. But you truly can’t take care of others if you aren’t taking good care of yourself. Your body has a way of telling you that you are ignoring yourself and burning out, as you experience exhaustion, depression, anxiety, physical ailments, insomnia, or alcohol dependency.

Do what you can to prevent these signs of burnout. Ask yourself, “How full is my tank?” Picture a scale from 1 to 10 on which 1 is feeling consumed by signs of burnout and 10 is feeling joyful, balanced, and peaceful. Your goal is to stay between a 7 and a 10. Where are you today? Check in with yourself on a regular basis and incorporate the necessary changes to keep your tank filled.

Here are some ways to do it:

• Manage your stress. Research demonstrates that an inability to manage stress can impair your emotional, mental, and physical health. Connecting with your highest values and priorities, becoming comfortable with saying no, and insisting on having some time to yourself will all help with maintaining your health. Numerous tips in this book will help you manage your stress. Use them!


• Exercise regularly and enjoy it! Regular moderate exercise has been shown to decrease stress, insomnia, anxiety, and depression. Research shows that thirty to forty-five minutes of cardiovascular exercise is the optimal amount of time to improve your mood. This is one tip you can’t afford to ignore! Get creative so you can exercise at least four times a week and keep it fun. Consider taking different aerobic and yoga classes, meeting a friend, hiring a trainer, or exercising outdoors and enjoying the sunshine.


• Eat well. You’ve heard this one before. Good nutrition is another essential that affects your well-being in a multitude of ways—improving your energy levels, sense of well-being, and long-term health. If you don’t know how to eat well, read some of the updated nutrition books. And then start doing it!


• Get enough sleep.This sounds simple but is often overlooked. Important neurotransmitters and hormones are only produced sufficiently when you get adequate sleep. Most of us need at least eight hours of sleep at night. Many of us also benefit from a brief nap some afternoons (I know I do!). We can learn from the lovely European tradition of closing up shop and taking siestas after lunch. Listen to your body and get as much sleep as you need to feel well-rested each day.


• Create a sacred space for your time alone. Carve out a space for yourself, such as a private room or a screened-off area. Keep it free of clutter and fill it with whatever soothes you, perhaps candles, pictures, or plants. Make sure everyone understands that you are not to be interrupted when you are in your sacred space. Post a homemade “Mother Goddess Needs Privacy” sign on the outside. Your sacred space is for your solitary, slowed-down time. Use it to be creative, listen to classical music, write in a journal, meditate, stand on your head … or whatever else you feel like doing alone.

Remember, when you attend to your own needs and keep your tank full, you are happier, more energized, and much more able to reach out to others.

Excerpt from The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self by Bria Simpson MA