Michelle had been waiting all week for Alicia to come over for a sleepover. They had big plans for Saturday night, and Michelle was literally counting down the minutes. Saturday morning around ten, Alicia texted her: no good 4 2nite. have 2 do it another time. “Are you for real?” Michelle thought.

This wasn’t the first time Alicia had stood Michelle up. She felt like she couldn’t count on Alicia for anything. The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. Before she knew it, Michelle grabbed a shoe and threw it at the wall—hard. It landed on her desk and knocked over some pictures, which fell and broke. Her parents heard the commotion and ran to her room, only to find a mess. The result? Michelle was grounded for two weeks.

Later that afternoon, when Michelle had calmed down, her mom said to her, “Honey, you seem to get angry at Alicia so often, and the results are never good. It might help if you could see the patterns. That way, you could start to think about more helpful ways to react.”

for you to know It is important to become aware of situations that make you angry, to notice what you do when you get angry, and to recognize the consequences of your anger. An anger log is a tool to help you do all that.

Tabitha came up to Leigha in the hall and accused her of taking Jessica’s textbook from her locker. Leigha hadn’t even gone to Jessica’s locker! She tried to explain, but Tabitha interrupted and said, “Josh told us he saw you in Jessica’s locker this morning, and now her history book is missing. Her homework was inside that book. Just give it back so she doesn’t get a bad grade.”

Leigha’s fists clenched and she raised her voice. “Tabitha, for the last time, I don’t have Jessica’s stuff!” But Tabitha would not back down. She got right in Leigha’s face and called her a liar. That did it! Being accused of lying always set Leigha off. She threw down her books and knocked Tabitha’s stuff out of her hands. “You did not just call me a liar!”
Just like Leigha, we all have things that push our buttons. Here are some examples of things others do that may push your buttons:

Tell others something you told them in confidence. Try to boss you around. Accuse you of something you didn’t do. Invade your space. Accuse you of saying something you didn’t say.

Nag you. Make repetitive noises. Borrow something of yours without permission. Borrow something of yours and ruin it. Write nasty things about you. Go through your things

for you to know We all have buttons that when pushed lead to anger. Some people call these buttons pet peeves or triggers. No matter what you call them, it’s important that you identify the things that bug you and head them off before your anger builds.

excerpt from The Anger Workbook for Kids by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann