• Do you ever feel as though you are no really there with your loved one, even though you are there physically?
  
  
• Have you ever behaved in some way toward your loved one that you later regretted?
  
  
• Have you ever felt confused or distressed by your feelings about your relationship?

Sadly, the hurry and rush of modern times often distracts us from the people and places that are the most dear and life-affirming. The challenges and stresses you face can interfere with the sense of understanding and togetherness so vital in loving relationships. One frequently can feel alone and isolated and wonder how to recover a sense of belonging and connection.

Where could you turn for help? How might things be different?

Even the busiest people can begin to reconnect with the sources of life and love in a relationship if they learn to inhabit the present moment with sensitive and caring attention. Through simple, mindfulness-based practices for stopping, relaxing, connecting, and staying here, the momentum of hurry and worry becomes less compelling. Something else more precious and sustaining returns. The opportunity for a different experience arises. Exploration of deeper, more positive feelings suddenly seems possible, even easier.

These practices are aimed at helping you be happier, more satisfied, and a better partner in all of your relationships, and especially in the relationship with your most important other. Each practice is different, engaging, and could be enjoyable, surprising, or even challenging.

Nobody says you have to limit yourself to five minutes, and you don’t have to do only one practice in an entire day. Just see what starting there might do for you and for your relationships. Let the wisdom you gain guide your way.


Opening Your Heart:

Love comes to us when we give it away. In fact, the more love yu give, the more love you have to give. Right now, take five minutes to share your love. Make the most of it, and be generous! Here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Plan a meal that will be infused with your love.
• Write a love note to someone you care about and copy the same note for yourself.
• Call someone dear to you and tell her how much you lover her. Then call yourself and leave a message declaring your love.
• Donate money or clothes to a charity or give a gift or something meaningful to a friend or stranger.
• Practice being generous and patient with your coworkers, customers, the cashier-clerk, and the driver with road rage.
• Be loving with a stranger by offering a smile, saying hello, wishing him a nice day, or giving her a compliment.
• When you make others feel good, it has a magical way of making you feel good.

Excerpt from Five Good Minutes with the One You Love by Jeffrey Brantley, MD, and Wendy Millstine, NC.