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Articles from September 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
body gratitude

excerpt from Yoga for Pain Relief


Reflect on different parts of your body with gratitude and appreciation. Practice:


  • Anytime to repair your relationship with your body. .
  • When you are feeling discouraged by pain or illness, or critical about your body, to consciously choose friendliness toward your body. .
  • After a medical appointment, to remind yourself that your body is more than its symptoms and diagnoses.

A full practice will take five to ten minutes, but you can practice the essence of this reflection anytime by simply reminding yourself of one reason you are grateful to your body.

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Posted By / 10:00 AM / Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
neck pain from the weight of the world on your shoulders

excerpt from Healing Yoga for Neck and Shoulder Pain by Carol Krucoff E-RYT


Just as postural habits, such as forward head, can contribute to neck and shoulder pain, our psychobiological habits, how we respond emotionally and physically to stress, may also play an important role. For example, when we’re faced with fear, anxiety, or other stressors, one of the most common reactions is to tighten muscles in the upper back, shoulders, and neck—in effect, lifting the shoulders up toward the ears. It’s almost as if we’re trying to protect our heads the way a turtle draws its head and limbs into its shell. Other common reactions to stress that involve the neck and shoulders include teeth grinding, lip pursing, and other facial grimaces, along with finger drumming, thumb twiddling, and various forms of fidgeting.

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Posted By / 11:30 AM / Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
the practice of wellness

excerpt from Transformative Yoga by Wade Imre Morissette


In the world of yoga, a healthy body and a healthy mind go hand in hand to create spiritual fulfillment. The physical practice of yoga offers great healing potential and health benefits. Yoga postures involve a lot of stretching, for example, which increases your overall flexibility and reduces muscular tension. Opening your body in this way also cultivates heat in the body, which aids in detoxification and expands your breath. The more deeply and easily, you’re able to breathe, the more you increase vitality in your body by bringing oxygen to your muscles. You’ve probably noticed how exercise—whether it’s a workout at the gym, brisk walking, or yoga—makes you feel more energetic.


It’s important to spend a good amount of time in regular physical practice, not only for the outward benefits but also to strengthen your internal confidence, which may weaken if you have a negative relationship with your body. A solid practice also helps ward off harmful influences, such as the stresses of our technological world or toxins from food or the environment, all of which can lead to an unhealthy body—and mind and spirit.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
scheduling and time-saving tips for new moms

excerpt from Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook by Pamela S. Wiegartz Ph.D., ACT and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe Psy.D., ACT


No other time in your life will be quite so wonderful and chaotic all at once. Remember to cut yourself some slack and use the following tips to maximize your time:

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
what is "me"?

excerpt from My Mother, My Mirror by Laura Arens Fuerstein, Ph. D.


In the West, neuroscientists and therapists write that one of the main things that separates our minds from those of animals is that we know we exist. As Mark Solms and Oliver Turnbull (2002) state in The Brain and the Inner World, our brain is the unique, enigmatic organ that gives us that sense: “The brain…is the seat of the mind, somehow producing our feeling of being ourselves in the world right now”.


And pediatrician and analyst Donald Winnicott (1986) writes in Playing and Reality that we must have that experience of “just being” before we can act, create, explore, relate, or do. Winnicott’s “false self”—rigid and inauthentic—will emerge if an infant has to adapt to her care¬giver’s needs. The false self covers over the true self—which is fluid and authentic—if that’s what’s needed in order for the child to keep her mother’s love.


Buddhist thoughts about the self contrast with Western ones, as described above. As Mark Epstein (1995) tells us in Thoughts Without a Thinker, Buddhist scholars write that it is only when we stop trying to find a true self that we experience life in a real way: “In the Buddhist view, a realized being has realized her own lack of a true self”.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
what is a good relationship?

excerpt from The Joy of Parenting by Lisa W. Coyne Ph.D. and Amy R. Murrell Ph.D.


Take a moment to think about the relationships in your life that are most important to you—those in which you feel closest to someone else. What is it about those relationships that you most value? Take a few moments and jot down your thoughts about this in your parenting journal. If you’re like many parents, one of the valued characteristics you listed may have been “feeling heard.” When we’re very lucky, we find ourselves in relationships in which people “get” us—they have a solid understanding of our wants, desires, and dreams. They communicate that understanding in how they behave around us—by calling our attention to things we care about or being thoughtful without being asked and without expecting anything in return. Because these things are important to you, you won’t be surprised that these same attributes are probably what your child most values and trusts about her relationship with you. Taking time to nurture a relationship like this with your child is important. After all, you’re the “base” from which your child ventures out into the world. You ensure his safety and offer a lens through which he will view other important relationships throughout his life. You show your young child how to be in the world by the way you relate to and behave with him. And that is an enormous responsibility—as well as an exquisite gift. In order for your child to feel heard, it’s important to be “attuned” to your child. Attunement means having a rich, detailed understanding of your child. As you become more attuned to your child, you’ll be able to empathize with her thoughts and feelings, respond to her wishes, and facilitate her goals. You will also be able to better predict what your child will do next and to take in new information about your child as she grows—even when it might be inconsistent with your past experience of her. In short, attunement means openness to your child, and this capacity will help you to respond in a sensitive, caring way to her needs. Mindful awareness is an extremely helpful way to become fully present to your child and to enhance your attunement to her. Find some time—about fifteen minutes—for the exercise below, in which you’ll explore some ideas for nurturing your relationship with your child.

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Posted By / 10:45 AM / Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
6 gifts of communication with a narcissist

excerpt from Disarming the Narcissist

  1. The Art of Mutual Respect

     

    Mutual respect entails acknowledging differences between yourself and others without negative labeling. This is the gift of generosity. You accept the narcissist’s different point of view or preference without becoming critical, defending your position, or discarding your own opinions, even when he is clearly off on the wrong foot. You know that, while there is hardly a challenge when you see things eye to eye, differences can set the stage for a long, drawn-out drama. You are aware that understanding something does not necessarily mean agreeing with it. You are committed to understanding, compromise, and mutual respect for one another’s thoughts, beliefs, and desires. You expect the same in return.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
the give and take of relationships

excerpt from Let's Be Friends by Lawrence E. Shapiro Ph.D.


Giving Compliments

For You to Know

Giving sincere compliments is a sure way to make other kids feel good, and it can also make you feel great!


What you say to others has a big impact on them. If you give someone a genuine compliment about something they have accomplished, something they do well, or something they’ve been trying hard to change, you can make them feel good for the rest of the day.


Sometimes giving a compliment can be tricky. Imagine you have a shy friend who is trying out for the school play and comes to you for encouragement. Even if you don’t think your friend is a great actor, you can still find something to compliment. You might simply compliment your friend for being brave enough to try something new.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
5 tips to avoid overeating

Huffington Post feature by Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, MPH, author of The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook


There are many reasons why you may overeat. You may be a classic emotional eater -- someone who finds comfort in food and eats when happy, sad, angry or at anytime you feel emotional, or you may overeat when under stress. If your boss yells at your or you are working under a deadline, having a doughnut, milkshake or bag of chips makes the stress go away -- at least temporarily.


No matter what your reason for overeating, you are using food as a coping mechanism. This may be a habit you learned early in life when you didn't have knowledge or experience in using other methods of coping. Just like Pavlov's dog, now your body and mind are trained to grab a loaf of bread or a bag of cookies when you feel tense, anxious or stressed. So part of the secret to avoiding overeating is to recognize the benefit of using food to cope.

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Posted By / 12:25 PM / Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
sexting: what parents and teens need to know

by guest blogger Susan Eikov Green, author of Don’t Pick On Me


It is very telling that the word “sexting” is not listed in the Merriman-Webster or American Heritage dictionaries. So where can you find a definition for this word that appears on television news programs and in newspapers and magazines? Wikipedia, of course. And that is perfectly apt, because “sexting” is a word born of the Internet.


Sexting - a combination of sex and text - is “the act of sending sexually explicit photographs and messages primarily between cell phones.” And for teen-agers, who don’t think twice about whipping our their phones, taking nude pictures of themselves, and sending those pictures to friends and boyfriends or girlfriends, it is an act rife with serious emotional and legal consequences.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
the importance of secure attachment

excerpt from The Attachment Connection by Ruth P. Newton, Ph.D.


Raising secure, emotionally competent, cooperative children who have full access to their creativity and expression is desperately needed for the health of the human race and the health of the planet. Raising secure children matters. Becoming more secure yourself also matters, not only for your own happiness but also for the child you are raising. So, no matter what your financial status is, what your culture, your ethnicity, your educational level, no matter if you are two parents, one parent, or a divorced parent, a family-member parent, a stepparent, an adopted parent, a foster parent, or have any other configuration at home, the greatest gift you can give your child is a secure attachment.


So what is attachment?

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
your baby's ear problems

excerpt from The Holistic Baby Guide


It is unfortunate that your baby can easily develop recurrent and chronic ear problems. At about six months, babies lose the maternal antibodies that protected them from common viral and bacterial infections. After that age they become susceptible, and they need to develop their own antibodies to these pathogens. If one of these viruses or bacteria happens to cause an ear infection, then your pediatrician may prescribe antibiotics. This is often the beginning of recurrent ear problems. Continuing to treat the fluid that collects in the middle ear or repeated red eardrums with more antibiotics just exacerbates the problem. And sometimes babies will have these ear problems even if they don’t get antibiotics. In this chapter you will learn the reasons that these ear problems tend to plague babies and find out how to cure them.

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Posted By / 11:00 AM / Thursday, September 09, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
what is dialectical behavior therapy?

Huffington Post feature by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder and The Bipolar Workbook for Teen


There are so many different types of psychotherapy out there nowadays, if you're dealing with emotional problems, how do you know what will be most effective for you? In my experience as a psychotherapist, clients benefit the most from working with a therapist who is flexible, and who tailors therapy to meet the needs of the client, rather than trying to fit the client to a specific mold. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers a wide range of skills a therapist can choose from, to suit the needs of clients at any given time.

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Posted By / 4:05 PM / Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
sleep and sex after baby

by guest blogger Sara E. Rosenquist, author of After the Stork


Two of the biggest complaints I hear about bringing home baby are No Sleep and No Sex. So what can you expect? And how can you make the best of things during this difficult time. The number one risk factor for depression at any time in life is sleep deprivation. So it should come as no surprise that the sleep deprivation so prevalent with a new baby could cause major upheavals in mood and in the sexual relationship. And when baby is breast feeding in addition to sleeplessness, many women experience sore nipples and touch overload. So what is a couple to do? How do you stay playful and sensual when you’re tired and your body is on overload? The answers might surprise you.

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Posted By / 10:00 AM / Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
how to stop sabotaging your relationships

Huffington Post feature.


  • Do you feel your partners value some of your behaviors at the beginning of a relationship but reject you for those same behaviors over time?
  • When your partners begin to complain about those behaviors, do you tend to be defensive and dismiss their concerns?
  • Do you find yourself stubbornly clinging to certain behavior patterns even when you feel you are pushing your partners away by continuing to do them?
  • Do you believe that your other qualities are so special that your partners should not hold you accountable for those that he or she doesn't like?
  • When your relationships end do you usually feel unfairly rejected and confused?

If you mostly answered yes to these questions, you may be a relationship saboteur. What that means is that you have repeatedly found yourself ultimately rejected for certain behaviors that your partners seemed to desire when your relationship was new, and cannot understand why.

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Posted By / 12:14 PM / Friday, September 03, 2010
Thursday, September 02, 2010
mindful cravings

excerpt from Eating Mindfully


skill builder: mindfulness of cravings

1. What do you usually crave? If it is chocolate, find a way to satisfy your craving in a mindful way. Keep a mini-candy bar or a handful of Hershey Kisses to fill that craving. Bring food with you. Having a plan makes you less susceptible to losing control. 2. Remember the adage, “Whatever you resist, persists.” Approach cravings consciously. What do your cravings suggest about your eating? Are your food desires an indication that you are too restrictive with your food? Do your cravings suggest that you are seeking comfort? Discover what your cravings mean, and find healthy ways to satisfy them. Ask yourself the following questions whenever you find yourself craving a particular food:

  • How will satisfying my craving affect my body?
  • How will satisfying my craving affect my mood?
  • How will satisfying my craving affect my thoughts about myself?
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Posted By / 10:00 AM / Thursday, September 02, 2010

related books

Eating Mindfully Just One Thing DBT Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder When Love Stumbles Eat Naked Connecting the Dots

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