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Articles from May 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Author Signings at BEA [pics]

picture 1: Lucy Howard-Taylor signing copies of Biting Anorexia: twitpic picture 2: Laura Arens Fuerstein, Ph.D. signing copies of My Mother, My Mirror: twitpic

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Sunday, May 31, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

NH Author Signings at BEA: Schedule

FRIDAY Janet Horn, MD & Robin H. Miller, MD: Smart Woman's Guide to Midlife & Beyond Blake E. S. Taylor: ADHD & Me Wendy T. Behary, LCSW: Disarming the Narcissist SATURDAY R. Keith McCormick, DC: The Whole-Body Approach to Osteoporosis Laura Arens Fuerstein, Ph.D.: My Mother, My Mirror Lucy Howard-Taylor: Biting Anorexia SUNDAY Lucy Howard-Taylor: Biting Anorexia Annemarie Colbin, Ph.D.: The Whole-Food Guide to Strong Bones

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 29, 2009

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Our booth at BEA [pics]

picture 1: New Harbinger booth (featured books: 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food, Digging Out, Stop Walking on Eggshells, 2nd ed., Facing Bipolar, Biting Anorexia, Buddha's Brain) picture 2: featured books: More Vegetables Please!, 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food, Digging Out

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Secret First Step to Mindful Eating

by guest blogger Susan Albers, Psy.D. Acceptance is one of the seven skills of a mindful eater. It sounds counterintuitive that accepting yourself just as you are is a necessary step to mindful eating and losing weight. If you have struggled with disordered eating or dieting, you know first hand the emotional tug-of-war that comes with accepting your natural body shape as it is. Too often, disliking your body or refusing to accept your size leads to repetitive fad dieting, self-hate and a harsh inner critic. You can easily get caught in punishing yourself by depriving yourself of food, wearing uncomfortable clothes, or you might rob yourself of good times because you are afraid to be in a bathing suit around friends. The path to mindful eating begins with looking at your situation threw a new lens. So, what is acceptance? Acceptance is defined as experiencing a situation and having no intention of trying to change it. If acceptance is tou...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Book Expo America

New Harbinger is attending BEA and located at booth #3148

Monday, May 25, 2009

Counting Experiential Calories

by guest blogger Pavel Somov, Ph.D. Put aside this annoying business of counting nutritional calories for a moment and ask yourself: what else am I getting out of this eating moment? How is my Mind being enriched? A Nutritional Calorie is a unit of energy. The job of a Nutritional Calorie is to fuel your Body. An Experiential Calorie -- to coin a term -- is a unit of awareness, a unit of conscious presence, a unit of meaning. The job of an Experiential Calorie is to enrich your Mind. Take a moment to count the latter... Ask yourself: What are the Meditational Calories of this moment? Indeed, as you eat, pause to consider the interdependence of people, places and events that converged into one seamless process in time to finally reach your lips. Of course, the Sun didn't shine for you and the grapes didn't grow for you and the farmer didn't collect the grapes for you and the canner didn't can the grape jelly for you in particular... And yet, somehow, as you are sprea...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Monday, May 25, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

Thyroid: Small Gland, Big Deal

Your thyroid is a miraculous gland. Located at the base of the front of your neck, it produces the hormones that are responsible not just for a sharp mind, but also for the svelte figure and cheerful outlook of our youth. Do you look around and see yourself or friends, family, and strangers your age getting bigger, balder, and more irritable? As we age, many people, especially women, develop low thyroid function, which is reflected in weight gain, hair loss, constipation, dry skin, high cholesterol, fatigue, allergies, breathing problems, impaired vision and hearing, sleeping disorders, dizziness, numbness, loss of libido, aches and pains, more frequent infections, and increasing incidence of mental and emotional problems such as depression, rage, anxiety, irritability, and even schizophrenia and bipolar disorder (De Groot, Hennemann, and Larsen 1984). Let’s face it, any of these symptoms would be enough to make us depressed and irritable. Sadly, even though no other hormone affects su...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 22, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Art of Lowering Your Standards

Costs and Benefits of Lowering Your Standards If perfectionism is a problem for you, chances are that the high standards you hold for yourself or others are long-standing and deeply ingrained. The thought of giving up these standards may be very frightening for a number of reasons. First, although you may be aware of your tendency to be perfectionistic, it may be difficult for you to determine which beliefs are overly perfectionistic and which standards are appropriate. If overcoming perfectionism involves lowering certain standards, you may be fearful of lowering the “wrong” standards. Second, you may be reluctant to relax your standards if you believe that your performance will suffer. For example, if you believe that it is very important to be on time for appointments and therefore you always allow an extra hour to get anywhere, you may be fearful of giving up this practice in case you end up being late for appointments in the future. If you tend to be very detailed in everyth...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Pleasure Healing: What and Why?

by guest blogger Mary Beth Janssen Henry Miller said “the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware—joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” Amen. Pleasure Healing is a dynamic 21st century approach to waking up to your full human potential, to higher levels of consciousness, and the resultant well-being. Many of us are simply living on the surface. Pleasure healing encourages you to plunge into the depths of who you are—your essence. Pleasure healing activities nurture you and give you a respite from the stressors in your life. They get you to pay attention. You come inside to the core of your being and commune with your higher self. When you pay exquisite attention, your energy shifts and you become the best that you can be—and you have fun while you’re at it! The capacity for delight is awakened and enlivened. Pleasure healing is when we engage in mindful practices, therapies and treatments drawn from the spa world for purposes of nurturing ourselves a...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Getting Unstuck: Negotiating Relationships with Borderline Personalities

by guest blogger Randi Kreger Karen’s husband of 25 years, Cole, has borderline personality disorder. He’s incredibly jealous and verbally abusive, so she wants to separate. But she knows he’ll suffer without her—he’s already made veiled threats that if she leaves him he’ll kill himself. Donald has a borderline client, Haley, who calls outside of office hours several days each week. He knows he needs to set some limits with her, but he keeps delaying the conversation because he knows how she’ll react. Both Karen and Donald have something in common: they both feel stuck in their relationships: Unable to move because danger lies in every choice, yet still compelled to do something. They’ve made compromises they can’t live with in the long term, but don’t know how to go back and change things. Why Do People Get Stuck? People who care about someone with borderline personality disorder in their lives get stuck for several reasons: Unhealthy bonds forged by ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

Urge Surfing - A Mindfulness Skill to Cope with Self-Harm Urges

Find a quiet place where you will be relatively free from distractions and unlikely to be bothered by anyone. Sit in a comfortable position. Write down how strong your urge is on a scale from 0 (no urge at all) to 10 (the strongest urge you’ve ever had). Then, write down how much you feel as if you can handle your urge on a scale from 0 (can’t take it for one more second) to 10 (could handle it for ten hours straight if you had to). Imagine that you’re standing on a surfboard on the ocean in a warm, tropical place. You can see the white, sandy shore in front of you, there’s a slight breeze, and you can smell the salt of the ocean. There are a few fluffy, white clouds overhead, and the sun feels warm on your back. Really transport your mind to this scene. Now, imagine that your urge to harm yourself is the wave that you’re riding. Really notice what the urge feels like in your body. Zero in on the sensations you feel (for example, tightness in your muscles). Now, imagine that you’...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Monday, May 18, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

Listening for Couples

Perhaps the most important application for your listening skills is when you communicate with your partner. A process called reciprocal communication provides a structure in which you can really hear each other. Here’s how it works. When you’re discussing a topic that is a conflict area for you, take turns being the speaker and the listener, switching places after five minutes. When you’re the speaker: Explain your point of view briefly and succinctly. Avoid blaming and name-calling. Don’t accuse and don’t focus on your partner’s failings. Talk in terms of yourself and your experience. Focus on what you want and what you feel. When you’re the listener: Give your full attention so that you can really understand your partner’s feelings, opinions, and needs. Don’t disagree, argue, or correct anything your partner says. You can ask questions to clarify an issue but not to debate and make cou...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 15, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Ten Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment

By guest blogger Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. We all want to feel happy and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joie de vivre and bring more happiness into you life. 1. We are not alone. No this isn't about ET, it's about OP - other people. Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and you'll smile more. 2. Hold on to your values. What you find true, what you know is fair, and what you believe in are all values. Over time, the more you honor them, the better you will feel about yourself and those you love. 3. Accept the good. Look at your life and take stock of what's working and don't push away something just because it isn't perfect. When good things happen, even the very little ones, let them in. 4. Imagine the best. Don't be afraid to look at what you really want and ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Ten Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment

By guest blogger Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. We all want to feel happy and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joive de vive and bring more happiness into you life. 1. We are not alone. No this isn't about ET, it's about OP - other people. Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and you'll smile more. 2. Hold on to your values. What you find true, what you know is fair, and what you believe in are all values. Over time, the more you honor them, the better you will feel about yourself and those you love. 3. Accept the good. Look at your life and take stock of what's working and don't push away something just because it isn't perfect. When good things happen, even the very little ones, let them in. 4. Imagine the best. Don't be afraid to look at what you really want and ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Addressing the Impact of Trauma on Relationships: Steps toward Reclaiming Intimacy

by guest bloggers Suzanne B. Phillips Psy.D.,ABPP,CGP, and Dianne Kane DSW,CGP The disruption of intimacy is too often the collateral damage of trauma. Trauma, be it the loss of a child, a natural disaster, a diagnosis of illness or combat stress affects relationships. Because trauma assaults one’s sense of self, one’s view of the world and trust in others, it changes the definition of personal safety and the conscious and unconscious desire for closeness. Whether one partner or both are hurt, grieving, having nightmares, too numb to feel, too angry to speak or too sad to hope- both partners in a relationship struggle and suffer. Accordingly, trauma often disrupts partners and the intimacy they share. Believing that a couple’s relationship is not only often the locus of pain but a crucial source of resilience and recovery, the goal of our chapter “ Dancing in the Dark “ in the book Healing Together: A Couple’s Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-traumatic Stress is t...

Posted By newharb / 12:01 AM / Monday, May 11, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Two Boats and a Helicopter: Thoughts on Stress Management

Hold this thought gently as you read on: despite centuries of science, technology, and evolution; regardless of the miracles of medicine, psychology, and social development; irrespective of progress in all its forms, how you feel today probably has as much to do with whether the sun came out as anything else. Okay, continue. An old joke has stuck with me since I heard it, what? Twenty-five years ago, now? It goes like this: A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe. "Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast." "No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me." Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat. "Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of h...

Posted By troydufrene / 12:00 AM / Monday, May 11, 2009

Friday, May 08, 2009

Mindful Motherhood: The Freedom to Choose

Mindfulness is great in situations where you don’t want to change anything about what is happening, but it’s still distressing, and you’d like to be able to remain present and able to function in the face of that distress. For example, you may need to interview for a job that you want a lot, and you feel quite intimidated and nervous. You might be called upon to speak publicly about something you are passionate about and really want to do it, but you’re also seized by stage fright. You may have anxiety about flying but really want to visit your grandmother who lives on the opposite side of the country. Or, you might have a baby who is crying due to stomach pain or colic, and while you may not be able to change the situation, you really want to be able to remain present, aware, and nurturing in those moments. We all have our favorite coping strategies to deal with situations like this—some healthy and some not as healthy. Some of these are calling a friend, taking a walk, taking some...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 08, 2009

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Fumbling for Change

Hello, my name is Troy, and I’m a procrastinator. Allow me to explain… About a month ago, Psychology Today asked me if I was interested in participating on their blog site. I happily accepted, encouraged that my own publisher, New Harbinger Publications, had recently made a similar request, to which I also agreed. Scheduling for the first posts was something of an issue since I was coming up on a short tour of Australia with my co-author to promote our recent book, Mindfulness for Two. I deferred committing to the first posts until I had completed the book tour, but I told myself (and just maybe an editor or two) that I would find a few quiet moments on the trip to start working on my first contributions. And this, dear reader, was a lie. It was not an overly optimistic or ambitious goal, nor a misestimation of my free time. I wish it were. It was a bald-faced lie. What’s worse, it was a lie I cheerfully told myself! As if I weren’t the last person on the Earth who would beli...

Posted By troydufrene / 12:00 AM / Thursday, May 07, 2009

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Moms Taking Time for Self

by guest blogger Bria Simpson, MA When I wrote The Balanced Mom, I knew that moms needed to hold onto their unique selves as individuals if they wanted to be truly happy. Since our culture is extremely child-centered, it's easy to feel that focusing on one's SELF is selfish, even dabbling in the realm of being a "bad mom". In reality, including ourselves on our priority list benefits everyone in the family because we are happier and more energized. Since then, I've worked with hundreds of moms as a life and business coach. Moms come to me in search of balance and fulfillment. What I now know is that for most moms, real balance includes finding a job or creating a career they genuinely enjoy- with the balance they want at home. Moms are NOT the same person they were before they had kids. At some point, if they enjoyed work and had strongly identified with it before kids - and have stepped off the career path - often, a nagging feeling that...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Mindful Acceptance

Your relationship with your body and how you view it can affect everything you do in life. When you’re feeling well and looking good, you give little thought to where you go or whom you might run into. But if you’re feeling self-conscious or preoccupied with something you don’t like about your body, then you might avoid other people or situations where others might see your perceived flaws. For example, one woman admitted that when her acne flared up, she spent days isolating at home. This next exercise will teach you how to accept your body nonjudgmentally. Begin by observing the negative thoughts and criticisms that you have toward your body, such as “I’m fat and ugly” or “I’m too scrawny and need more muscles” or “I hate my thighs.” Take a quiet moment to experience these random negative thoughts. Then, begin to practice nonjudgmental acceptance of yourself by saying aloud or thinking, “I’m not perfect. This is the body that I was born with and I am learning ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Monday, May 04, 2009

The Carnival Mirror Self Image: The Mother-Daughter Heirloom

by guest blogger Laura Arens Fuerstein, Ph.D. The mother-daughter relationship. Words used to describe it only offer a flavor of what the bond evokes in women – “intense”, “complex”, “enduring”, “unique”, “inexplicable”. At times mother and daughter dance an elegant tango with smooth motions, graceful synchrony, and fluid lines. At other moments they seem caught in enmeshed steps guided by erratic rhythms and discordant sounds. Because both members of the pair share gender, hormones, anatomy and cultural influence, and because the mother is usually the primary caregiver, the daughter’s separation process has a unique challenge – in contrast with the son, whose gender and anatomy offers him an innate difference from his mother. And when the mother has a strong need to repair herself, replay herself, or re-invent herself through her female offspring, the daughter’s individuality is harder to gain. Also, because a daughter has a natural yearning to return to the ...

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Monday, May 04, 2009

Friday, May 01, 2009

New Harbinger Bookstore opens today!

New Harbinger's bookstore is opening tonight. Some of the guests are authors, local publishers, media, and of course NHP employees. Check out our tweets tonight for more about the event.

Posted By newharb / 12:00 AM / Friday, May 01, 2009